Back For Me
by Thwirty3
Summary: Someone is stopping Kaneki before he leaves for Aogiri... There's some drama and lemon mixed in to flavor the story as well. As a side note: My greatest complaint with some of the writing is finding a work-around the Out-Of-Character issue. Because I can't portray exactly how each character will react in a different context without turning most of it into a complete copy pasta.
1. Chapter 1

Kaneki took a deep breath, filling his lungs with oxygen before closing his eyes to make sure that the air would find it's place in his head. Even now he was reluctant, knowing that leaving Anteiku would mean leaving behind his friends as well. For the sake of everyone, he knew that his disappearance had to in secrecy during a time period where he would least likely seen. Which according to his estimations…. would be right before sunset and according to his watch: now

He had done well to avoid everyone except Yoshimaru who just so happened to in Anteiku when he made his departure. Taking notice, he simply asked him to come back soon, something he could not do. For that reason he had put a great deal of distance if he would be stopped along the way. Leaning his arms across the bridge overshadowing the freeway, he knew that this was the last stop before leaving Anteiku for good.

Hearing footsteps coming behind him, his instincts took a hold of him and turned around to see Touka behind him. For a long time, he began to feel afraid again not knowing if there was something he forgot to do. He met his own stare back at her without flinching, afraid of what would happen next.

Deciding that they couldn't hold on to the silence forever, he managed to find his voice, "I'm going to Aogiri", he confessed. To Kaneki, it seemed the few words never made it to Touka as if everything he said suddenly become inaudible. Standing there, her expression could have been one or a hundred conflicting emotions. Her head was downcast, her lips pursed to resemble a half - hearted smile but it was her voice betrayed her, "Is that what you want"? She asked.

Kaneki pondered for a moment before replying," I can't risk losing you or anyone in Anteiku anymore he spoke". This is why I have to say my final goodbye Touka".

The answer did not appease Touka who was ready to strike at him, any moment. "So is that how you see yourself"?, she said with bared teeth as she collapsed to the floor, her long hair hiding her features. "Playing the tragic hero that saves everyone but himself".

Kneeling beside her, Kaneki grabbed her arms and gently lifted her back to her feet, expecting her to lash out against him. Holding her close he wanted to tell her that he would be back for her one day but lost the words that he wanted to say when he opened his mouth.

"Is that your final decision then"? She asked. Nodding ever so slightly, Touka arms tightened her hold over Kaneki shoulders so that his head stood on her shoulders. Smirking softly she whispered, "Then you'll want to take this". Noticing a trap, Kaneki's eyes shot open but reacted too late as he suddenly witnessed the arms slide around his neck tighten. Without opening her eyes, Touka made her move and slid a syringe out from under her jacket and pressed it against his neck. Holding him still until she was sure the fluid had made its way into his body.

Feeling his body growing limp, Kaneki felt touka's arm slider under him as she carried him back home. "So everyone knew all along", Kaneki thought to himself with a groan as he fell asleep.

~Back at Anteiku~

Kaneki's mind was still fuzzy when he first awoke, but it was clear that he had been given the liberty of being restrained hand and foot for his "little attempt". While a blindfold over his eyes, made him unaware of the situation he was in.

Hearing the discussion going around him he tried to signal his dissatisfaction by yelling through his gag until he heard Uta say, "Well it looks like our little centipede is finally awake". Feeling the blindfold and gag removed from his mouth, Kaneki found himself back at Anteiku lying on a conveniently placed table that had him locked in place. His entire body was immobile by the thick restraints, which were likely made of something stronger than simple leather. From his line of sight everyone in Anteiku seemed present along with some additional customers such as Tsukiyama and Banjou. Touka was also present, although she was not looking at his general direction and was preoccupied with customers.

Shaken by what was actually happening, a part of Kaneki wanted to scream while another part of him wanted to cry. They couldn't do this to him; his closest friends that he had once fought for and against had all conspired to kidnap him until he settled on their terms. Kaneki hoped that once he had agreed to them, that this "kidnapping" would end. Although the choice word "detain", which had not been said more times than once was over his head that this was completely normal. When some of the people in Anteiku were not made aware of Kaneki's "defection" had to receive an explanation for his confined state.

Yoshimaru cleared his throat, and delivered the consensus. While it may seem extreme for us to rely on such measures, we have found it necessary to detain Kaneki here in Anteiku for the time being. He has not a moment's rest since he received his torture from Yamori and may not have made a logical decision when he took it upon himself to leave for our sake.

Each one of you: Touka, Tsukiyama, Hinami, Banjou, Uta, Yomo and I will be keeping an eye on him to prevent any more escapes. You are to care for him to the utmost of your abilities and tend to his everyday needs since he will not be able to move in this. Yoshimaru spoke as rested a hand on the strangely inescapable contraption.

Kaneki found the need to ask, "If it's not too much, can I please get some details on what I'm being forced into wearing". Uta replied thoughtfully. It's a ghoul suppressant suit or one that makes a ghoul feel closer to a human. We've used it to suppress more dangerous ghouls in the past since they won't be able to feed or use their kagune when they're inside it. And now it's on me Kaneki thought.

Taking a look at it, Kaneki found that it looked no different from an everyday jacket but with an unusual design that had a distinctive overlapping pattern with segments. While the adjoining sides resembled thin appendages that appeared as centipedes legs. Leave it to Uta to come up with something like this he thought. "Turning me into a centipede," he thought. "Sighing he asked Yoshimaru how long he would stay "detained". "That what depend," Yoshimaru replied, before leaving him in Touka's care.

~Touka~

Kaneki found himself in the comforts of Touka's own bed and was left to contemplate on what to do now. Breaking out of it was impossible, as he had tried countless times. He could bargain for release with one of his captors, but wouldn't bring himself to it if came down to manipulation. Since doing so would mean hurting his friends.

Peering from the corner of the room, he found Touka staring at her own reflection with a quizzical expression as if she were trying to find answers that weren't there. Studying her, Kaneki found it unfortunate that a person as pretty as Touka didn't chance to smile more often.

Glancing back, she hoisted Kaneki on her shoulders to her restroom where she rested him on a stool to get a better look at him. Examining both of their reflections, she ran her fingers over Kaneki's hair before she settled with one that she liked and pulled a single strand out of his head, much to Kaneki's displeasure before running it under the light. "Uhhhhh Touka? What do you have in mind?", Kaneki asked Touka with his head tilted up. Touka frowned as she spoke over his shoulder with a sigh, "If you're still the same Kaneki, than I want the part that was still him back". She muttered.

Looking at the floor Kaneki knew what she had meant, she wanted or had always the old Kaneki back. The one that loved to read, the one that could fake a smile when he wanted, the one that had looked up and depended on her. In truth a part of him realized that his views would never have faltered if it weren't for Rize and the twisted torturer Yamori. They had pushed his views to the limits forcing him to contradict his beliefs until he had to accept that they were wrong. Only then, had Kaneki found the newfound strength to escape.

Leaving him to his own reflection, she returned a few minutes later with a seemingly thick bottle of hair dye along with a pair of latex gloves. Using a comb, she loosened Kaneki's hair until she found it satisfactory to start.

"You kept me waiting for long enough so don't expect my hands to feel gentle. As he later heard her mutter that, "she had to wait months to get to do this". The threats made Kaneki squirm against his seat knowing that they weren't on the best terms as of now, although her words were anything but. Running a generous pinch of hair dye over her hands she kneaded the thick paste against his hair. While Kaneki flinched at her caresses, half expecting her to tear his scalp off at the slightest provocation and decided against himself that it would be better not ask that she was using a women's brand of hair dye. Afterwards, Touka took the liberty to construct Kaneki's hairstyle back in pre - Aogiri. Although It seemed a poor copy at best since she could barely keep his hair down while the white hair still stood out more than the black. Touka eventually gave up and resolved that she could have saved all this time if she only thought of getting him a wig.

Applying a thin layer of toothpaste on the bristle of a toothbrush, Touka carried him to a sitting position. Positioning him in a way that allowed her rest her to have free movement behind him. He heard Touka commanding him to "open wide" and that the he would have to treat this as if he was "going to the dentist". Feeling a toothbrush being shoved in his mouth, he felt himself growing increasingly red at the embarrassment and the force that she delivered into his mouth. Hoping that he wouldn't have to lose a tooth in process (could ghouls regrow teeth?) as he tried to tell her in vain that he could have done it himself, only to receive a reply that said "shut it".

After Touka finished rinsing him off, she immediately set off to her studies. Witnessing her scribble furiously at her notebook, Kaneki wondered what was troubling her. He was not a person who normally wanted to intrude on the personal lives of others, especially when he hated answering question about himself. As a firm believer, he always felt the present would be able to run fast enough to escape his past. But he had to admit that he was also getting a bit frustrated at only being able to do move his mouth. This and that they would only be able to spend a day before he would be handed Tsukiyama's care tomorrow.

He didn't remember why he asked but when he did, he realized that he might have already known the answer "Why did you come back for me?" Kaneki finally asked to Touka. Not pressuring for an immediate answers, he watched as she shifted her body against the recliner.

Her writing slowed but didn't completely stop until a few minutes later. It only occurred to him after that Touka's scribbling was only a diversion to mask her increasing grief.

Picking herself up she rested her body against him, until Kaneki felt his back leaning against her. Lying next to him she told him the truth, "When I first heard that you were abducted by Aogiri, I was driven by a fear that I would never have the chance to see you again. That fear manifested into thinking that you suffered because we failed to look after you.

It was only after you came back to us, that I realized that I couldn't see you as the same again. The Kaneki that left was not the same one that returned. When I realized that you were leaving Anteiku, I couldn't live seeing the same scenario happening again".

"Abducting you along the way was never Yoshimura's idea nor Uta's, it was mine from the start. So I hope you won't have to hate them for acting on my lead since I was the one responsible for dragging them into the mess", Touka confessed.

"Still, I can't keep you like this forever", Touka said turning him around to face him. Kaneki saw a rare smile play on her lips when she made him blush with a faint touch to his cheeks. "I just wish I didn't have to resort to such means in the first place. If you promise to forgive me for everything I put you through today, I'll let you go".

The last sentence hit Kaneki the hardest, knowing that Touka had meant everything to him and would see him go even if he took her happiness along with him. After hearing her, Kaneki stopped wanting to go; atleast for the time being so he did what needed to be done.

"Do I have tonight to decide"? Kaneki asked. Nodding, Touka's eyelids shut as Kaneki felt her arms slide under him like a pillow. All of a sudden, Kaneki felt strangely different, as if the embrace had relieved a brought him back memories that he didn't know were still there.

When it turned morning Kaneki had made his decision. Turning around, he turned to face Touka only to find that she had disappeared. There was a small note, which read, "I knew you would be back for me". Groaning, Kaneki knew that he had been outplayed and would have to endure another week of this before he would be set free. Hearing Tsukiyama approaching, he hoped that Touka would at - least accompony him during the rest of the ordeal.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note (To clear up some misconceptions): I might not have written the story to the best of my extent since I left details about the first part out. So I owe it to the reader to clarify some things first.

\- Most of Anteiku believes that Kaneki is not in the "right" state of mind (but especially Touka) for going to Aogiri, which is why he's being contained in a ghoul suppressant suit.

\- Every day, someone in Anteiku has to watch over Kaneki. Both as protection and to see to his daily needs.

\- Kaneki was hiding low and under Tsushmikiyima's pants, while he was also facing the other way. So you couldn't see really him unless Tsushikiyima turned around.

\- Touka's 2 hour lecture was incredibly boring because the instructor had forgotten his notes and had to recall the information from a another source via "wikipedia." So she decided to record it and fall asleep while she was at it.

P.S My stories are a bit "different" from what other readers are accustomed to reading.

For one I hate writing descriptions, they're simply "boring," something I don't want my readers to feel my story is after they finish reading. I tried to find a workaround to it but realized that it was the same (boring) result no matter how it was written.

My second dislike? "details!" Anyone with a bit of imagination can imagine the setting in his/her head. I don't want to drag on the story in comparison to what other writes have done, which is a potential risk if readers begin to lose focus on the actual story.

What do I like? "dialogue!", compelling informative dialogue that drives the plot and the characters. So expect to see half of it cover the entire story.

~ Tsushikiyima ~

Seated against a soft velvet sofa in the lounge of the Ghoul Restaurant, Tsushikiyima looked towards Kaneki sympathetically with worried eyes.

For this it was unlike him, seeing how Tsushikiyima's façade was rarely broken even in circumstances more serious than this.

Speaking to Kaneki, Tsushikiyima found his voice, "I would say that it would be rather unhealthy for a young ghoul like yourself to have to go on functioning your day to activities like this." Peering close is if anyone were to hear.

So to break it to you, I've decided against the judgment and consensus of the Anteiku. "To eventually let you off the hook, and free yourself from this shell chained against your body"

Kaneki found the convincing enough, but that didn't mean he still didn't have a pressing question. The sentence made sense to Kaneki, but why did Tsushikiyima leave out the word eventually. "Why not now?" Kaneki asked gently.

Tsushikiyima fiddled with his thumbs before responding, "The ghoul suppressant suit is a tricky thing you see, it leaves wearer unbearably weaker following its removal". A countermeasure if the ghoul chooses to retaliate".

"Speaking of removal", it seems someone isn't supposed here". Tsushikiyima finished.

Without glancing back, Kaneki already guessed who the figure was.

Tsukiyama did his best to regard her but treated her closer to a customer than an acquaintance. "Miss Touka, please understand that we are unable to provide any service at this moment, and would hate to leave you unintended if you choose to stay."

"Since the Ghoul restaurant had been closed regarding the special reservation, meaning that nobody should've entered. Well, should." Tsukiyama fumed, but left the rest unsaid.

I didn't come here for your 5 star service."Touka snapped. I came here so I could check up on Kaneki, and to second guess that your idea of dragging him away from Anteiku was so you could finally get to eat him." Touka stated, her fingers throbbing against her temples.

Touka continued, "I would've come sooner if I didn't spend all morning trying to convince Yoshimura in my care, but since he is so adamant in placing his trust over the rest of us. I'll have no choice but to tag along. Even if it means I'll have to spend the rest of the day with you." Touka grumbled, "her eyes glaring menacingly at Tsushikiyima as she choose the seat the farthest away from him.

Kaneki and Tsushikiyima exchanged glances as to say, "now what"?

Sitting in silence for a while, Tsushikiyima suddenly asked Kaneki, "Kaneki do you happen to have a need to visit the bathroom?" Kaneki caught on quickly, replying with, "Yes I really do". Upon hearing this Tsushikiyima lifted Kaneki to a standing position while they made a beeline for the toilet. All in all, it really did look like they had contracted diarrhea.

Touka's sat there was an expression between curiosity and disgust. Kaneki certainly has changed in more ways than one," she thought. Following them would undoubtedly be creepy but Kaneki needed Touka and she wasn't going to let Tsushikiyima have his way with her. No matter what demented game he was trying to play.

"Change of plans," Tsushikiyima told Kaneki as he released him from the hold of the Centipede's-jackets restraints with a few sudden movements of his hands. Like Tsushikiyima warned, he immediately felt weak from the withdrawal symptoms from removing the suit.

It wasn't long before Touka's voice rang from behind the restroom door, "You better not be screwing Kaneki", Touka yelled. Where did she get that idea Kaneki thought with a groan as Tsushikiyima eyes widened at the prospect. If he didn't have the idea before, he did know, Kaneki thought glumly.

Luckily Tsushikiyima snapped to his senses and whispered to Kaneki," Call it a change in plans, now we'll have to move much more quickly. Involving these he said procuring a thick band of black rubber band that was meant for binding his arms and legs together.

It seemed Kaneki had escaped his restraints only to return to another. "No, there's no way Shuu…. there's no way I'm going on with this." Kaneki stammered.

"It's the only way out of here," Tsushikiyima told Kaneki. It's either that or Touka finds out. Kaneki closed his eyes, praying that the few seconds that he spent in hell with Tsushikiyima would be worth it. "Do it" Kaneki groaned.

"You've been in there for an hour," Touka screamed." What could possibly have gone wrong?"

"It seems I've have lost Kaneki", Tsushikiyima cried, standing on the verge of tears. "We have to find him".

"Touka's face was beaming". For a second she wanted to nail Tsushikiyima across the head but decided that she was losing her composure (while I'm going OOC) and would hear him out before overreacting

So taking a deep breathe she calmly asked Tsushikiyima "How in a hundred centuries did you lose Kaneki in a restroom?"

"I cannot explain it myself, see what I am seeing and you would understand for yourself." Tsushikiyima insisted.

"There's no way I'm going in there if some people happen to stop to stare and see," Touka insisted. Although she later recounted him saying that the Ghoul Restaurant had already been closed. Still, Tsushikiyima was still a person although a vulgar one at best.

Following a long pause, a sound finally came out. "Do it for Kaneki," was Tsushikiyima's response. They were just 4 words, but they shook her far enough to convince her.

"What hasn't been for Kaneki", she thought. "All of this: the absurdity involved in this situation, the compromises we made in watching over him, and the safety and safeguard of Anteiku, had all been done because I was afraid that I might lose him again."

Compared to everything else, this would only be a small price to pay she decided. Sighing Touka pushed the door open to find Tsushikiyima staring directly in front of her, moments before he slid past her.

With a corny, "I just don't want to make the situation any more uncomfortable then it has to be." Which made Touka sorely tempted to floor him.

Touka realized that something off with how Tsushikiyima was reacting but wasn't ready to blow the whistle until she found exactly what. Scanning the bathroom, Touka didn't seem to see any figure resembling Kaneki or more importantly anyone for that matter.

She even lifted one toilet seat up only to regret it moments later (please remember to flush folks).

After washing her hands, Touka soon stepped outside to find a mournful Tsushikiyima covering his own hands against his face. "Well," Tsushikiyima sobbed.

"The toilet must have grown a mouth and decided to eat Kaneki," Touka mocked. But in spite of her tone, Touka was actually growing worried.

"If that's the case, then we'll have to search somewhere near the sewers for him, who knows where he's ended up!" Tsushikiyima said as he continued to sob.

"That was meant as a joke numb nut." Touka said.

"I'm sorry" Tsushikiyima cried, "I couldn't comprehend humor without my Kaneki". "But I know we'll find him, that is if we go completely separate ways".

Touka caught on, he's waiting for me to turn around, she thought but I won't let him. "Turn around," she commanded.

This caught Tsushikiyima off guard as his sobbing immediately receded. Taking a few leaps back, he quickly met her gaze. "Miss Kirishima what are you possibly suggesting," Tsushikiyima said with a gasp.

With a quick sprint, she slid right under him and kicked his legs from under him with a 360-degree sweep. As Tsushikiyima collapsed to the floor with a groan, she found Kaneki slide out from under him. Red faced and bound with what seemed to be a black rubber tape holding his arms and legs together.

"Kaneki was in Tsushikiyima pants all along"? The mere thought made Touka want to regurgitate.

Her disgust was replaced with fury, "You sick demented freak, I should have had you killed the moment I heard that you would be given care over Kaneki"! "With Yoshimura and all his wise thinking's, but no more after I finish beating you to death. I'll be done with you for good!"

"Wait, no Touka"! Kaneki screamed he yelled before she landed her fist. "It was, uhhhhhh our idea". Kaneki said trying to deliberately take part of the blame.

Regretting the words, Kaneki knew their plan would soon be over. "Our idea?" Touka said standing next to him, "So you agreed with what Tsushikiyima was doing." Kaneki managed a tiny nod and was met with a slap across the face. Cringing, Kaneki braced for her next question.

"Why?" Touka insisted. Kaneki didn't want to say that he wanted to leave behind the ghoul restraints in fear of hurting her, knowing that it would mean that he wanted to leave Anteiku.

So he said the next best thing, "Because we thought it would be fun," words that he would later come to regret.

The rest of the day would undoubtedly drag on even slower.

~ Touka ~

"Are you trying to drive me insane Touka!" Kaneki screamed against the restraints that tugged against the legs of her bed. Hearing the dull monotonous sound of a speaker drag on about the life cycle of a plant in his ear.

"Consider it a fair compromise for what you put me through today, now that I'm also behind on schoolwork." Touka replied in her normal lazy voice. Her body and face shifted toward her desk.

Unfortunately for Kaneki he was in no position to argue. Uta, disappointed that Kaneki had gotten free, worked on a restraint even more inescapable than the first, the ghoul leash, which Touka had bound him hand and foot against the bed with. To make matters worse, she had recorded a 2-hour lecture in one of her classes and was intent making him listen to it all over again despite his pleas.

"Please Touka," Kaneki begged, "I can't listen to this". It was comparable to watching grass grow only that it was with your ears and not your eyes. Reminding him of the centipede that Jason had once put inside of him. "At - least play me some music as well," Kaneki moaned.

Unable to deal with Kaneki's complaints any longer, Touka suddenly moved to where he was laid to corner him. Touka began, "You can endure this and you will. Don't believe that I'm doing this just to see you suffer, I need it for the 3-page summary that you'll recite for me later. So don't just think you can fall asleep on me". Touka said, as she knelt next to him to turn the volume on her Ipad even higher, before leaving him on his own.

This torture wasn't pure physical or mental, it was sheer boredom. Kaneki thought closing his eyes as he heard Touka's faint voice call out from under him, "I don't want anymore distractions, shut it or I'll forget to turn it off and keep it running all night. If you enjoy reading so much, maybe you'll even learn something that's actually useful".

"I just hope Hinami didn't learn from Touka," Kaneki thought painfully, his mind drifting off.


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: I went way out of character with this one. Re -editing certain parts of the story might act as a small fix but certain parts will be "uncomfortable" regardless.

I wrote this story partly because I really missed the old Kaneki. He was the only anime character that I found to be lovable, both in terms of character and aspect. When the "bad-ass" Kaneki finally won over, I seriously wanted to cry my eyes out. I literally couldn't enjoy the anime any further when I just witnessed a unique protagonist turn into the commonly used "silent hero" stereotype.

Is there a problem that readers might have with this story (other than the intense violence at the end, it's rated M+ for a reason)? This story is basically making Kaneki more human again.

Just as clarification, the reason for the mock torture was for Kaneki to repress his Ghoul tendencies and deny Rize's conscious and Yamori's beliefs. Explaining why Kaneki didn't break free this time by not giving in: refusing to count, refusing to choose, etc. However the re - enactment couldn't have worked unless it couldn't be told apart from the actual memory of his torture. Hence Touka couldn't be "Touka."

Touka: "Why did you have to change Kaneki T.T"

"Why"?

"Why"?

"Why"?

"Why indeed"?

Thanks to my readers I hope to hit 1000 views after this series is finished.

P.S Hinami never came because she was sick.

If anyone has a request please type it into a review, I might run out of ideas soon.

Fun fact: I'll be studying for my college midterms while you read this

~ Touka ~

Kaneki was awoken with something less than pleasant, the sound of heavy music blaring in his ears. Coming to his senses, Kaneki was jerked awake before he instinctively came to a sitting position.

Removing the source of the disturbance out his ears, Kaneki was less than grateful for the intrusion. "No wonder she never manages to focus on her studies when she's also listening to that kind of music." Kaneki thought sleepily.

Noticing that Kaneki was up, Touka rolled next to him with a small smile on her lips. "Feeling awake?" Touka asked him. "Hardly," was his reply. "I want to ask you something but it can wait until your tidied up," Touka told him.

Dragging Kaneki out of her bed, she shoved him to the restroom as a first order of business before taking the bed for herself.

Stumbling to his destination, Kaneki was not feeling his absolute best. Regardless he still did what he had to do before coming out, now fully refreshed.

Noticing something was off; Kaneki asked a still half-asleep Touka, "Why aren't you afraid of me going to Aogiri anymore?"

"Because I now have this", She answered sliding a key out of her pillow, "the doors to my bedchamber, fully compatible on both sides of the door". "Yoshimura introduced it as a new safety precaution in case we had anymore, visitors".

"Although it's not the key that's keeping us safe, it's the doors. They've been reinforced, built to withstand any form of brute force. No one can get in or out without the key although the door will break on one condition. But as to what condition, I do not know".

Kaneki took a seat next to Touka enjoying her scent, before collapsing on the bed again. When Touka made no reply, Kaneki finally spoke. "If I'm not mistaken you wanted to discuss a certain matter of business."

Touka voice seemed to change. "Kaneki before you were taken, Jason was always insistent on breaking you, did it mean you were really, really…. tortured"? The last word the hardest to bring out.

Kaneki never wanted to tell anyone about the ordeal; so long as he kept it to himself it would only be his nightmares and his only. So he remained silent, hoping to change the subject matter.

Touka pressed on however. "Listen Kaneki, I know you don't want to relieve a memory you are trying so hard to forget, but what I'm asking for you to reveal is not out of plain curiosity".

"I think I can help, but for me to do that, I need to know what exactly happened. Yoshimura thought it would be best if we "re – enacted" it. So every-time you're reminded of the torture. You'll be able to think of this encounter instead.

Kaneki sighed as he turned his body the other way, "So you want us to role – play, I feel like I'm losing you."

Touka flipped him back around, "I wanted an answer idiot, not a critique. So which answer between yes or no is it?"

Kaneki figured he liked the new Touka better so he didn't keep her waiting, choosing the answer she wanted he said. "I'll tell you."

Re - emerging into the room a few moments later Touka was wearing her rabbit mask in comparison to Jason's hockey mask.

Besides that small similarity, everything else was far too different: instead of chains, Kaneki's hand and feet had to be zip tied behind the chair he was sitting on. Instead of feeling trapped in the hostile patterned birdcage in Yamori's torture chamber he was in Touka's bright sunlit room. And instead of pliers, Touka was holding a harmless nail cutter between her fingers.

With the cutters, Touka trimmed Kaneki's fingernails until they were of suitable length. The only problem was that after it was done, it didn't look like there was much else to do.

"Well we can't wait for my fingernails to regrow, that would take weeks". Kaneki argued, unlike his fingers, which would only take hours.

"Then we'll move on to what happened next," Touka told him taking off her mask.

Sucking on her index finger for a few seconds, Touka moved behind Kaneki before he could react and shoved her fingers inside his right ear. While the feeling wasn't unbearable to how the centipede had felt, it wasn't pleasant either.

His response was what Touka had expected. "Touka, what are you doing with your finger!" Kaneki yelled out in surprise." "What about it." she answered nonchalantly, taking a small interest in his reaction. "It's not very comfortable when you start to move it around my ear". Kaneki said, holding back from almost screaming. Touka wasn't budging, "I want to know how long was the centipede was in here," as Touka leaned close over his shoulder to whisper to his free left ear.

He was dreading every moment of this and wondered why he even agreed to this. Looking nervously at Touka, Kaneki hoped that she wouldn't only settle for the truth. "Does the time frame really matter? The centipede found its way out eventually", Kaneki stammered in bursts.

Touka contemplated Kaneki's answer for the longest second before she finally removed her finger, wiping it against her shirt.

"Better to have this memory burn in his mind than the latter." Touka thought to herself. Although Touka hadn't expected Kaneki to react this violently to her little "centipede." It was time for her to turn things down a notch.

"Touka please don't tell me that you found necessary?" Kaneki plead. "Did Jason?", Touka asked holding his head back to look at him.

"This is hopeless". Kaneki said, "We're not accomplishing anything here.

"I wouldn't say that," Touka said sitting in fetus position while she leaned next to her bed.

Kaneki continued, "You're not Jason, you can't change what he did to me. You can't take your enjoyment in watching people get hurt. None of of him is in you."

"Do you really mean that?" Touka asked Kaneki, standing up to look at him. Hoping that Kaneki had not just said yes (which he did). Groaning she realized that she would have no choice but to rely on more desperate measures.

Grabbing a stack of pencils she slid each one between Kaneki's fingers before she cruelly crushed them together.

This caused Kaneki to yelp. "What did you do that for?" Kaneki demanded". Beginning to grow frustrated at the re – enactions.

"Convincing," Touka replied although she couldn't bring herself to bring that much pain on him for any longer than a second.

This only made Kaneki angry. "You won't convince me that you're Jason, no matter what you decide do to me." He yelled defiantly.

"Then what about you?" Touka asked Kaneki as she cupped her hand against his face."

The answer was not Kaneki had expected, leaving him speechless. Knowing that this might be the only time he would be able to hear her.

Touka realized that it was time to tell him how she felt all along. "I always hated Yamori, the man that made this into you". Touka said brushing her hand over his hair.

But now it seems I'm forced to hate the part of him that's in you," Touka said smiling sadly as she held her hand against his chest.

Standing up to look away from him Touka continued. "From that day forward I was drawn in a conflict with myself, against my 2 opposing sides. The hopeful part of me wanted you to come back while my hopeless side accepted you."

"I never wanted to blame you, even when there where days when I did. Your sanity was at stake, your conscious torn. The only means of staying sane was to take his lessons into account and when you did. Part of him became you," Touka told him with her arms crossed.

No, Kaneki thought, but in his heart he knew he was just denying himself and not Yamori. The counting's, the finger cracking, the centipede they weren't him, they were someone else life not his. Why hadn't he realized it, why had he given in?

"You've got it all wrong," Kaneki denied. "This was a mistake, you have to let me go." Kaneki said suddenly panicking against the restraints.

"So he knows, but still can't come in terms with accepting the truth", Touka thought to herself. "No matter, I'm going to force Yamori out of him", she decided. "I'll make Kaneki believe what I've said one way or another.

"Jason wouldn't have left you off so easily and neither will I. You'll just have to play along until we see this through to end," Touka told him. Suddenly growing cold after she placed her mask back on and ended the OOC.

"And now judging from your dislocated fingers "Touka told him as she lifted his fingers up, "It looks like I'll have to feed you". Returning a few moments later with more than sufficient meat packages, she hastily ripped them apart to dislodge the contents onto her table.

Digging into her pockets she found her scarf which she began to tie over Kaneki's eyes, making him more afraid than ever. Without it however, the ordeal wouldn't have worked.

Grabbing pieces of various body parts she forced the meat inside Kaneki throat, as Kaneki violently convulsed after he had eaten more than his fill. Forcing him to bring memories he never wanted to revisit: Yamori's torture chamber.

He would always laugh when I refused to eat since it gave him all the more pleasure, to go against my own beliefs and accept his own instead: the strong trampling the weak.

Rize would console me when Yamori wasn't here, but each time she came it would only mean a different wound. Her existence was only to reaffirm to what Yamori had already told him.

Her torture looked softer but in the end it still pricked, as if one were to snatch a beautiful rose. The thorns were all hidden, but that didn't mean that they weren't there. Playing me against my mother, the only person that I felt would truly love me.

But I won't accept him and I won't accept her Kaneki thought, this time he wouldn't let them have their way.

Kaneki suddenly refused to eat anymore; he was going against the conscious. No longer was he going to willingly eat human meat, if it had to be done it would mean that it would only be done against his will.

The struggle wasn't between them anymore Touka realized; it was Kaneki against Yamori and Rize. When this was over one side was going to take over.

She had to act, even if she would have to apologize for it later. Slamming her fist into Kaneki stomach. Touka said asked him the dreaded question, "What's 1000 – 7." The impact and realization of the words had frozen Kaneki.

"Don't even think for a second about giving in," Touka thought.

Not getting a reply, Touka waited patiently for an answer before acting.

Slamming another fist into him Touka said, "I'll ask you again, "What's 1000 – 7"

"It's, it's….992" Kaneki coughed.

The wrong answer, Touka thought to herself. But she had to take it further.

The barrage of fists couldn't stop and neither could her composure, she hated every moment of it and soon felt each successive blow grow weaker and weaker.

The last punch never connected as she felt tears run down her cheeks. Touka knew that if he had accepted Yamori and Rize, he would've been free in an instant. But he didn't and that was why he was still here.

Why won't you stop, Touka"? Kaneki croaked.

"Because my name isn't Touka and you won't answer me," Touka screamed.

As she slammed her last fist into him, Kaneki felt blood rush out of his mouth.

She knew that it was a lie, lies that we all told to ourselves when we were the most vulnerable or hurt.

"I'm not stopping because I know you'll come back to me Kaneki". She thought. "You defeated Yamori that day, a feat every ghoul has remembered. But you also gave in to what he wanted, which was to finally see you break. Maybe I can't bring all of him back, but I know there's still some of the old Kaneki left in you".

"I think I finally understand," Touka said calmly. "You've forgotten how to count so it seems I'll have to bend a few of your fingers, backwards."

Turning towards him she realized that Kaneki elicited no response besides his shallow breathing. Kneeling behind the chair that Kaneki was sitting on, Touka rubbed her hands against his own, to study them. They were gentle and slim, soft to the touch and made for caressing. Touka hoped that she wasn't going to puke for doing this after it was over.

Touka asked another question, "I'll need 7 fingers, but which 7 should I start, the left or the right?

The question seemed to awaken Kaneki, jerking him awake once again as panic raced against his mind.

Touka pressed on, "Without an answer I'll have no choice but to break the 2 identical fingers at the same time which would eventually be all 10. The number 10 doesn't equal 7, so we'll now have to balance the equation. Since your fingers have all been bent, it will mean that I'll have to bend 4 of your toes as well. A final step before I can find the result by dividing 14 in half".

Gripping both of his thumbs, Kaneki tried to resist the pull knowing what would come next.

"He's losing it," Touka thought to herself, as she heard Kaneki began to stammer incoherently.

"Is that an answer?" Touka asked him. Kaneki now sweating and gasping for air told her, "Touka wouldn't, Touka wouldn't do this to me."

"Bad news", she told him. "I'm not Touka". A sickening pop was soon heard as Kaneki screamed knowing that his thumbs were now dislocated."

Kaneki could barely feel this thumbs afterwards, and soon panicked not knowing where he was at anymore.

"Who are you?" He screamed, "Someone please save me, why are you mother!"

Upon hearing this Touka realized that her job was done; Kaneki had forgotten what it was like to be a ghoul, and would likely avoid any further confrontations with them in the near future. Snapping his thumbs back in place, she dried the tears that came out his eyes with her sleeves.

"You're safe with me", Touka told him. By morning she hoped his hair would turn black again.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: A bit more description than what I wanted, but I guess it will have to do.

This chapter took a bit longer than I expected because I wasn't sure on what to write next. Have no fear the next chapter will come out much faster, since I already have an outline

Not to spoil things too much, but those who have already read the manga can expect the parallel story universe to have a happy ending. AKA Kaneki lives and doesn't loses his memory + reunites with Touka and Hide (He'll be in the next chapter) instead of becoming Haise.

Don't panic at the ending, since Hinami only wanted to "see" it, hence she won't be "joining" it.

To WHITE HAIRED KANEKI

It's too late for anymore modifications, the story has already been completed :P. However, there is a chance that white haired Kaneki might come back at a later chapter *hint *hint.

~ Kaneki ~

Waking up for the third night at Anteiku. Kaneki felt strangely different, like some confliction residing within him had finally been resolved. The sensation that he was experiencing wasn't what he described as unpleasant, rather it was for a better word…. uplifting.

Finally gaining control of his bearings, Kaneki was disappointed to find that Touka wasn't with him.

Lying in bed for a while he was felt his senses return to him, allowing him to remember what happened yesterday.

Both of them had agreed to reenact the scene with Jason as a means to confront it. The catch was that Kaneki had acted differently this time, holding back and maintaining his sanity. Which meant that his chemistry should be different now, shouldn't it?

There was only one way to be absolutely sure.

Rushing to the mirror, he didn't know if he should be afraid or grateful to see his hair regain it natural dark color again. "Touka will certainly be pleased." He thought to himself. Taking a single stand of hair just in case as verification, Kaneki was sure that it wasn't just her dye this time.

Her door had been left opened which didn't look like an accident, unless she was in a hurry to go somewhere. "I suppose it was only like her now that I'm myself again," Kaneki thought to himself.

But instead of stepping out, he remained content in her room, picking up some of Touka's books to see where her reading interests lied. "Maybe there might be an overlap in our reading preferences," Kaneki mused.

The peace did not last long,

Hearing screaming from downstairs, he tried to block the sound out of his mind at first but curiosity took off with the better part of him, causing him to race downstairs.

Kaneki, the staff of Anteiku, and the frightened customers had now set there eyes on a screaming Ayato being dragged in by Touka; the once peaceful atmosphere now fouled by the screams of all forms of obscenities.

Both siblings appeared to be out of breath although not badly injured. In contrast Ayato looked in far worse shape than Touka did which likely made her the clear winner.

As everyone turned to look at Touka accusingly, she went out of the way to defend herself, "I gave him the chance to come quietly."

"How did?" Someone in Anteiku asked

"He was half asleep when I found him," Touka answered before the person could finish. "A pity he couldn't stay that way."

Ayato's struggling finally died down and stopped when he managed to catch a glimpse at the figure that he would dread seeing, Kaneki. Once the realization set in it, Ayato could no longer stand and collapsed from his mental breakdown.

"You brought me here just to see him". Ayato screamed clutching himself to maintain that his bones were still intact.

His screaming only growing louder as Touka felt that even more accusatory glances were on her, causing her to kick him repeatedly over and over in hopes that it would make him stop.

Making her way to Kaneki she addressed him directly, "It turns out my brother hasn't been himself either, not that I'm blaming you. But it's also clear that I'm also going to need your help in restoring him to his former self."

Somewhere inside of him Kaneki felt an urge to apologize to Ayato, but didn't feel it was in line and would more likely appear to go against Touka's wishes. So he only nodded knowing that he was going to help Ayato later anyways.

Yoshumura looked worried but said what he had to say, "I know Ayato is your brother but to bring him here may not have been the best course".

Putting aside how his outbursts were scaring potential customers.

"We must ask ourselves, are these measures safe with Aogiri still around? To bring unwanted attention by taking one of their own people here. I myself must stand against it, when it is done in a way that does not best serve Anteiku's interests".

Touka snapped, "I'm not letting him go, not after the risk and effort it took to sneak him into here. As for letting Ayato return to Aogiri, I have no intentions of letting him do so, not when I can talk him out of it".

Touka continued; "Even if they do suspect us, they'll only be able to see it as a lesson for making off with Kaneki and as to drawing attention. I have no doubt that Ayato was too much of an underling for the risk to come here, even more so now that we're much better prepared (should a second attack happen). Considering his value was not nearly as much as Rize's, it is likely he'll be forgotten".

"Forgotten", Ayato thought. Was this the feeling that Keneki had felt during the 10 days he spent with Yamori, the sensation left Ayato numb.

Ayato knew that what Touka had said more than convincing if not also true. "Just see to it that there's no more trouble." Yoshimura told Touka.

Upon hearing this Ayato tried to scramble to a standing position only to be yanked back down by Touka.

"I don't want to be forgotten," Ayato screamed before Touka threw a sack over him. Heavier than she realized she asked for Kaneki's help, "Help me with this, he can't be seen in Anteiku since patrolling Doves might see him, we'll take him somewhere more secluded."

Ayato found his weight being lowered through a series of twists and turns, causing him to lose sight on his destination. Halfway through, Ayato felt his head run against a wall, rendering him dizzy and nauseous.

He could faintly hear Touka's hissing and Kaneki issue a hasty apology moments after.

When they finally arrived at their destination, Ayato felt the sack leave him. Still disoriented from the collusion, he had to be dragged by Touka to a sitting position. Where he felt arms securely fastening against a chair. Taking note of his surroundings, he realized that this was the storage room in Anteiku, the waft of coffee evidence.

Touka stood in front of him and gently peppered her brother's on the cheeks with a gentle slaps, Ayato grumbled in response at the shallow display of affection.

She was seated only a few feet away from Ayato, while Kaneki was spotted off in the distance. Not taking notice of Ayato just yet, she had hoped that he would be the first one to speak. But when she realized that he wasn't going to, she finally spoke.

"I brought you into Anteiku for a reason, even if you hated being dragged here. Anteiku was the only place that I could still call home. It was here where I was taught to intermingle and learn how to live a life similar to that of a human."

You shape your beliefs on the struggles you faced throughout your life, if you've lived mine, maybe wouldn't have turned out so differently, Touka thought.

She paused before spilling the rest; "You already know what I'll ask of you, to adapt to life like we did. Even if doing so means that you'll have to leave Aogiri".

Ayato didn't want to hear this any longer, "I won't have anything to do with humans or any ghoul that interacts with them, that includes you! Don't see me as how you saw our weak father!"

Touka needed to make him see. "First I want you to look at Kaneki", Touka told Ayato. When he shifted his head the other way, Touka moved to block his view, preventing him from looking anywhere else. Look at him!" Touka yelled the second time; she would make him on the third.

Holding his head between her arms she tried to force his head forward to tilt toward him, while Ayato did his best to resist. Creating a power struggle between the 2 while Kaneki looked on wondering if he should possibly intervene.

"Why do you insist on making me look when I won't….tell me why? Ayato yelled, still shaking with fear.

"If you only took a look, you would get it past your head". Touka told Ayato in-between her teeth.

"Is it weakness that you want to me to admit?" Ayato screamed with his eyes shut.

Touka was getting frustrated, "Even if I get him to turn he won't be able see if he's not opening his eyes," Touka thought. "It's better if I tried a different course."

The unexpected release against him surprised Ayato, who turned to see that Touka was starting to leave. Grateful that he had finally left alone, all he had to do now was to wait until Kaneki was gone too before he would be given a chance to take off.

The plan didn't come to fruition, as it wasn't long before Ayato heard Touka's footsteps returning,

Feeling a tug at the back color of his jacket, Ayato held his breath not knowing what to expect next. What occurred after was a mix of vulgar language and screams, when he was hit with the realization that Touka had emptied an entire pitcher of ice behind his back.

Unable to close his eyes following the shock, he felt his eyes forced open.

Ayato felt himself being forced into a headlock once again, his eyes now parallel to where Kaneki was seated. Ayato saw him long enough for him politely wave back.

"What part of him that she want him to see?" Ayato thought to himself his mind still racing. It took him a few more seconds but did not fail to realize the difference, his hair.

With a sigh of relief Touka finally let go knew she could finally say what she wanted to say now, "This isn't the same Kaneki that broke 103 of your bones, that's something you'll have to look past now".

"What's stopping him from, from, hurting Me." he shivered from both the fear and the cold that had his backside still burning. "

"Me," Touka replied. "I changed him to the person I first remembered."

"I wanted to keep Kaneki as far away from the Ghoul world as far as possible, to live a normal life as a human". The life I would have wanted, Touka thought. Unlike Touka, Kaneki was never born a ghoul, which meant that adapting for him would be far easier for him and would attract far less suspicion.

But this was only if he acted against his impulses, to keep running from danger while never confronting it, something that she couldn't do.

This made her recall to what she told Kaneki the other day, "If there's ever danger, I want you to run, it might not save you like it did with Rize. But right now it's the only way to avoid any more confrontations with ghouls (that he had taken bites out of without necessarily killing). And while saying this hurts, maybe it would be best for you steer off Anteiku (not leave, big misconception avoided) if only for a few days to reconcile with Hide. Now that you're closer to a human."

Snapping from her small daydream, she had to shift her focus on Ayato again, since she had after all promised Yoshimura that he could talk him out of it, "About Aogiri-"

"They'll come for me, you'll be the first one to see it," Ayato interrupted with the lie.

Touka responded, "I've seen have Aogiri has treated you and from what I can tell it was never well."

"You were never in Aogiri."

"I was when I acted out as a spy."

"You served as an underling"

"As did yourself."

"I've put more trust on them more than I could on any human. "Father tried to understand them and for that he died."

"That's something we'll never get to know, nobody can tell us how our father's cover was blown that lead him to die unless we can find the investigator responsible for killing him".

But years have already gone by meaning that the encounter was slim to none, Touka thought.

"Even if father died for a cause that not even I can see as right, I'll still do my best to honor it".

Which meant adapting to the world they lived in now instead of avoiding or fighting against it.

Now Touka had to make them do something that would likely regret doing herself.

"We'll all eat Yoriko's cooking, even if has to come to bite by bite," Touka told the two bringing the crockpot out of the pantry.

Kaneki's stomach churned and Ayato's eyes were not leaving the platter that Touka was holding in her hands.

Kaneki suddenly began to feel unwell and slowly shuffled to the door, only for Touka to slam it shut before Kaneki could step out. "We includes you," Touka told him accusingly.

"I'd have a higher chance of surviving by swallowing poison, than eating that," Ayato shouted knowing that she would likely rely on force if he refused her.

"You can't always believe what you hear", Touka told him.

"Please not this," Kaneki thought to himself. The first taste of his sandwich had taken hours to wash out of his mouth. If he had to eat several mouths, he wasn't sure if he would be able to taste soon after.

Seeing that neither would be the one to make the first move, Touka knew that she would have to be the one to go first.

Lifting the pot to reveal a array of potato, pork rounds, and onions. She held a potato between 2 chopsticks and without thinking quickly bit into it with delicate bites until it was gone from her mouth. A gag reflex followed but did not stop her from keeping it down.

Kaneki knew that he would have to go after; he didn't have to be told. Doing his best to appear eager, he took the sticks out of Touka's hands along with some much-needed advice.

"Don't forget what Yoshimura told us, quick delicate bites."

Walking toward the pot, he had 3 choices. "Which one would go down the easiest, which one?" Kaneki thought for a seemingly long time, hoping that Touka wasn't growing impatient by his indecision.

Taking the smallest sliver of onion he could find, he held his breath hoping that it would block out some of the taste. He was wrong, the first bite gagged him, causing him to almost lose his balance. Unlike Touka it took 5 bites instead of 2 and was going to leave him nauseous for a long time.

This did nothing to help Ayato's confidence, who was now even more afraid than even before.

"You're going to have help me Kaneki," Touka told him. "Bring the crockpot over and don't drop it."

Bringing the pot over to where Touka and Ayato stood, she took the sticks out of Kaneki's hand to seize a pork rind.

Moving the piece of meat around his head to catch him off-guard, she quickly thrust it into his mouth before covering it. A loud hmmmmmphhhhhhhh was heard as Ayato's body violently shook.

"Swallow or it'll stay in your mouth," She warned.

Ayato didn't have another choice, after a few more agonizing seconds he did.

The food had passed a full circle meaning that it would be Touka's turn again.

Kaneki was doing his best to scrape as much of the flavor as he could off his tongue while Ayato who hadn't even taken his second bite looked ready to puke.

"It wasn't her fault that he refused to listen on how it was supposed to go down easier," Touka thought.

Slowly but surely the crockpot had been eaten, the end result was none to pleasant.

Kaneki was sobbing continuously, something that Touka had never she had seen before.

Meanwhile, Ayato was convulsing in bouts and didn't have the strength or motivation to even move anymore.

Touka thought she was doing fine until she made the mistake of standing up which caused her to fall face down on the floor with a resounding thud. "Damn," she thought.

Minutes passed, then hours, a knock on the door was heard. Nobody answered; a voice along with a few more knocks were heard, "Hello, is there anyone in here"?

Touka had to crawl to the door so the person behind it could hear, "We're fine." Following a pause she finished, "We'll be coming out in a second."

Standing up slowly, she lifted Kaneki up from the ground and on her shoulders, as they made their way out.

Ayato was too dazed to see what was happening, and feel asleep before he could remember much.

The second time he awoke, he found himself in a makeshift bed. Still weak from the food, the only thing left to do was contemplate. Something he hated.

Touka had taken him easily, that much was true. But it wasn't because he was still asleep; it was because Kaneki's threats froze him until he stopped moving.

It had all been his fault not even his sister's. Aogiri probably wouldn't even want him back after hearing this. So now where would he belong?

Hearing the door open, Ayato made no attempt to even see check on who the person was. However it seemed that the person was not leaving and making him feel uncomfortable.

"Who is it this time?" Ayato said hoarsely, his voice sounded as if he suddenly turned 60.

He sat up hoping that his body wouldn't turn over, looking at the shadowed figure he saw…."Hinami?"

She approached him carefully, "I brought you more blankets since it'll be cold tonight, and I don't want you to catch a cold like me." Hinami said in a nervous giggle. "I'll be back in the morning to collect them tomorrow."

She turned to leave but Ayato knew that she wanted something, "Why did you really come?" Ayato whispered.

"I wanted to see Aogiri for myself," Hinami answered.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: This chapter was far more enjoyable to write, especially since I could set up some of the protagonists as villains for some of the parts.

I'm not doubling down on creating a happy ending the manga was far too depressing for me to not write a happy one.

P.S This is also where some of the action starts to fly.

WARNING: Intense Violence: near the end, you have been warned.

~ Itori ~

"There's trouble concerning Kaneki from what I've been hearing", Itori whispered to Uta who was seated to the bar next to her.

"There's no need to whisper when it's not a secret," Uta reminded her. "Kaneki is leaving Anteiku for a few days, under Touka's instructions to meet his friend Hide in secrecy. Although she did a poor job in covering when everyone in Anteiku soon found out."

Nico did not miss out on the conversation, "So he's leaving the ghoul world for a time to catch up on a human friend. The only thing I need to know was why Touka was insistent on doing so?"

"She's trying to convince him that Kaneki's still human", Itori growled unhappily. "If she continues, he's likely to forget the events succeeding Rize". Marking the end of our weapon."

Nico replied, "How will we go about this, we can't have our only fish slip through the net?"

Uta suggested, "We'll have to bring him here and make him remember."

Itori did not believe this, "Remembering won't be enough for him, not when he can refuse to accept the memories. What we'll have to do is to make him accept is himself again."

Nico did not lose sight of the true issue, "we can discuss this issue further after we've brought him to us, has a date been planned?"

Itori continued, "It will have to be before Kaneki leaves Anteiku, we'll lose our sights of him the second he leaves the wards."

"Do we know the time of Kaneki's departure?" Uta asked.

Itori shook her head, "No, but I have a clue as to how and when."

~ Ayato ~

Ayato had fled with Hinami but now that he with her Ayato wasn't going to let Aogiri take her. Touka would never forgive him is he did while he himself had to intentions of resurfacing himself. Believing it to be better for them to see him as dead.

"Just a look," Ayato had promised her, although it had still taken longer then he had anticipated. It was night before the tour was over, leaving her near the doorsteps of Anteiku before he had to quickly flee himself.

Now that it was done, he resolved to devote his time in figuring out the investigator that had killed their father.

~ Kaneki ~

It's best if you didn't leave tonight, Touka told Kaneki. "There's too much talk with your departure and with everything going on, I don't want to see you come to harm." Kaneki made no objections, "It's fine, I'll stay".

Sometime later, he texted Hide about the delay in his departure, feeling a little guilty for keeping him waiting. Still, he told himself that it would only be for another day.

Sending the message, Kaneki received a response back. "We have Hide," the message read. "Come alone to Clayfer's Park if you want to see him."

Kaneki held his breath before he sent the next message, "Who?"

The reply came immediately, "The Clowns."

Kaneki didn't think they were very funny. Reluctant to say anything further, he ended the conversation by sending, "Keep Hide safe, I'll come."

Sneaking out of Anteiku was no easy task, taking the last shift Kaneki decided to make his move after closing time. Although it didn't solve all his problems; sharing the same shifts with the last staff worker meant that Kaneki still had to come up with a hasty excuse for leaving. So after brooding in his thoughts for a while, Kaneki decided to go with the actual truth. Which meant telling him, "I have to meet with someone."

Dashing past street corners he had left all of his belongings prior to leaving. There was no need to get anyone involved if it came to being discovered.

Making his way through that park, he did not expect anyone he would recognize and yet the voice that called to him seemed surprisingly familiar.

"We hope you'll overlook our little lie." Uta said standing out of the tree that he blended himself with.

"We don't have Hide only his cell phone, which he had surrendered otherwise after he saw my intimidating appearance".

2 more figures moved behind him, each with a different mask. Knowing them by their scent he didn't have to turn around to figure out who they are. Nico and Itori he thought, "What were they doing here"?

"Why did you lure me to Clayfer's Park?" Kaneki demanded.

Nico's voice was heard, "To see Kaneki again."

"You did see him, I'm Kaneki and I'm standing right here," Kaneki told him now feeling confused.

"We haven't seen the side that we want," Itori finished.

"I'm not a ghoul anymore, I run from them," Kaneki stammered. "Would you see a ghoul do that"?

"How weak." Nico groaned. "I didn't have to hear that."

"We'll have to start the process of making changes to him soon; denial might very well be an irreversible condition" Uta said".

Kaneki didn't need any more convincing for him to take off running. "Pretend that you're a human and every other ghoul is Rize," Touka had said to him, "And you'll avoid any future conflicts with them".

He didn't make it far; Clayfer's park was surrounded on all 3 sides by water. The situation only beginning to worsen when he knew that he was never a strong swimmer.

Standing indecisively for a few moments, he wondered if drowning would be worse than being eaten.

Sadly he never got the chance to decide, now that his brief pause had allowed Nico, Uta and Itori to surround him by on all sides with his back against the water.

Collapsing to his knees, Kaneki was ready to offer himself up for slaughter, hoping that they were intent on killing him first instead of opting to eating him alive.

They were getting closer and had now closed off his last chance to escape. Kaneki took to strangling himself, hoping to pass out before hoping to lose consciousness before he had any chance feel pain. "I was born a human," was his last thoughts before he lost his last memories." Briefly recalling he was being dragged somewhere away from home.

Kaneki woke up pleasantly enough, although it would also unfortunately be the last time he would get to indulge in his comforts for a very long time.

Bliss immediately turned into horror that this was not his bed in Anteiku but what seemed to be a makeshift wine warehouse.

His arms had been suspended above him that gave him just enough reach to be able to feed himself if he was inclined to stand up. But only dragged them up if he decided to sit down.

Studying them he realized that they were the same chains that Yamori had made him wear. Something was not quite right, Yamori was dead and only one person knew a first account of what happened to him.

Then he remembered the abduction.

They were going to make him a ghoul again, something that he wasn't or ever wanted to be.

Kaneki's first reaction was fear, but after calling in vain without a response. He settled down and tried to reason with himself.

"You're a human," he told himself. "A human can't be a ghoul because a banana can't be an apple. Since humans were bananas and ghouls were apples, the only result to answer meant that he was a human and not a ghoul". The only flaw with this kind of thinking was that he needed real solid banana for it to work, so decided to set his goals on finding one.

He didn't have to wait long. Itori, Nico, and Uta who had seemingly ignored his cries at first, were now beginning to frequent sittings with him in greater frequencies and extended periods of time. Supplying him with basic necessities such as food and water and even devoted time to talk with him. Although he found it strange that they had not breached the subject of Ghouls, something he felt they would do soon.

He wasn't wrong. After the third day had passed, Itori finally chanced to ask him if there was anything he happened to need. Without thinking, Kaneki already knew his answer and begged her for an edible banana.

Promising to quickly take care of his request, Kaneki was almost happy to see her return. It did not last, the tinge of hope became horror when he saw her produce an apple instead. Apologizing profusely when Kaneki was still in the middle of a mental breakdown. She told him that she could not find a banana so she found a substitute that was similar to one. "They're both fruits, nutritious, and tasty," she chirped. "Well for humans anyways".

After she tossed into Kaneki's hand, impulse made him throw it against a wall where it promptly splattered. His last comforting thoughts had now been taken, although he could safely say that Itori would no longer send him apples.

"They must have been listening", Kaneki thought. "Leaving him alone was no accident, it was a experiment to see how he would react."

He decided that he would say nothing for the fourth day, holding his silence until he was asked a question that shook him. "Is there anyone you might want to see?" Itori asked.

A prevalent fear was now growing inside of him; one he had never asked, what happened to Touka? Was she looking for him or did she safely assume that he left early in the morning to see Hide. Would Touka end up like he did and fall as a second victim to the people that were trying to change him?

His thoughts stopped being his own, "I have to see Touka safe and protect her, he was the only one that who could (well so could her brother but Kaneki was panicking)."

"No! That isn't the right thinking, this was what made him change in the first place", his own thoughts said to him. Touka's life was never in danger; she looked after herself for all these years without me.

But he had to make sure. "Touka," Kaneki whispered.

Itori ran her hand down his face. "Then I hope you'll find these pictures to your liking," The answer already in her hands. "I took them myself for safekeeping," she said, scattering pictures of Touka across the floor.

As they clattered to the ground, Kaneki stared down on them and realized that he wasn't mistaken. They were pictures of Touka from when he first to last saw her. None of the recent photos depicted her as unwell, but that was only for now.

"Why are you doing this to me? Kaneki cried looking up.

Uta spoke, we want the real Kaneki back, not the one pretending to be human. We'll let you leave once we've seen him.

Nico was not slow in replying, "I hope Yamori did not die vain. After all one of the reasons I stuck up with him was so I could see you become stronger. It's a pity to see all that time and bloodshed go to waste. Making you go through the torture again is not something that I would want to see."

The fourth day proved to be more of a struggle then he had initially anticipated; Uta did his best to remind him what he did when he was still in his ghoul side. While Nico recounted everything he had forgot from his torture with Yamori.

Out of the three it was Itori that made him feel the worst. Unlike the rest of the 2 she didn't confront the issue directly, she attacked him in an area that he would least be able to expect.

But that wasn't the worst part; the worst part was how he was almost growing attached to her. The smile she delivered to him which he saw as a lie at first had now started to look convincing. Telling himself over and over that he didn't have feelings for her had now gotten much harder now that his emotions were beginning to overtake his logic.

She made him feel a desire that he had never felt with Touka a desire that made him want. He wanted to feel her skin, see her smile and express her love for her now that he had been away from her for so long.

But he wasn't going to betray Touka, not from the people that were keeping him away from her. She was why he needed to Touka. By simply being next to him he was beginning to feel Touka distance farther and farther away from him, almost as if he had chosen Itori over her.

Kaneki wasn't going to fall for it though, "Itori never took love seriously and could claim to love a hundred other people," he said to himself. "While Touka's love was sincere and could only be reached by her closest friends".

"I won't give into her demands", Kaneki thought to himself, "The second I choose Touka over someone else is the second I'll break because there'll be nothing for me after that," Kaneki thought. "There's no doubt my ghoul side will take over which is exactly what they want".

"Seemingly genuine displays of affection aren't love, it wasn't like the stories. Rize had been the one who taught him that." Everything was just a game to them, remaining uncaring in face of someone getting hurt. It would be something that he would always be able to take, as long as it never came down to hurting others.

The next time she came to him, he told himself that the only thing he wouldn't do was for her to see him finally break.

"Tell me why you want her so badly," Itori asked him the 5th day, her body leaning next to the wall facing him. "What is it that makes you find her to be so special?"

"Why do you want to know?" Kaneki whimpered, tired and homesick with his head buried in his knees.

"Maybe I'm a little jealous or maybe it's just plain curiosity. Not every girl has someone that's likely to break down when they're not around them," she said. Lifting his head up to brush her pinkie finger on a running teardrop coming down his face without breaking it.

Maybe she'll listen to me once she hears the truth Kaneki thought. Hiding nothing back he decided to confess her true feeling for Touka, "I love her because she understands, because she lived a life similar to mine or before my human life was taken. I just want to return to the times when the conflicts didn't surround me, which is what Touka wanted for me too. The only thing I could ask of you now is if you would only be able to see me not as a use but as a human again." Kaneki whispered.

Itori sat there for a moment, almost as if the words had moved her. Then she suddenly reacted in a way that Kaneki did not expect.

Kaneki suddenly felt his shoulder being pinned against the wall by Itori, "what was she doing," he thought. "What you've said has suddenly made me, hungry," Itori admitted. "Hungry?" Kaneki replied. "What did I say that could possibly make her hungry?" He thought.

Kaneki felt Itori's hands forcibly pry his mouth open, leaving him unable to resist when she met her own mouth against his own.

Her tongue had now slid inside his mouth to test her surroundings, only to stop when he felt his tongue brush against her own.

The sensation did not last, the softness of her tongue moved away to be replaced with something much harder. The pain of having a full set of teeth clamp down on his tongue. Hurting him in an area that he had never felt before and leaving evidence of a searing sensation that dug deep into his mouth and the surrounding flesh.

Even his screams were lost now that his tongue had left him. The organ now claimed by Itori, who now had it dangling it in her mouth.

"I won't hear such shallow words leave your lips again. Itori scolded him incomprehensibly, still chewing the morsel that was once his tongue. Wiping the blood off the corner of her lips with the back of her thumbs after she was finished.

The only sound that Kaneki could make now was a low groaning sound, both from the pain and the revulsion in seeing a part of him being eaten. He was guilty of eating ghouls in various parts but never would have chosen to bite in an area that was as sensitive as this.

"The discussion is over." Itori told Kaneki, "We'll meet again after your tongue grows back, be sure you come up with some compliments that flatter me next time. Oh, and take your tongue somewhere else, the ingredients you've been eating have made it too bland for my taste.

He had to think; anything just to hold on to his sanity, if I go insane I'll give into my ghoul side for sure.

"Losing a tongue hurts, so much", was Kaneki's painful thought, the realization causing him to break into a sob. To take his mind off the newly brought torture his thoughts turned to Touka,

Would you forgive me if I confessed your love for someone else? Would you hold it above me, if the things I did were only to protect myself from what I would have become? You wanted me to be a human again, but to be human right now is to be hurt and to lie.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note: I prefer banana's over apples

~ Kaneki ~

Kaneki didn't know how long his human side could take; after being neglected for hours on end. His heartache for Touka seemed to only grow stronger while his sanity was starting to reflect the natural appearance of his hair; again.

If he could still see color, there would be no mistake that his hair was starting to turn an unnaturally pale color. If this continued it would be fully white in less than a week's time.

Knowing this, he did his best to hide it for as long as he could from the three but unfortunately could not keep the secret for long. Seeing how the changes had not gone unnoticed by Itori who promptly pulled the hands that acted as a means of cover away to get a better view.

Giddy with glee, she was now insistent on brushing his hair for every few hours with her comb despite neglecting, pretty much everything else. Including his personal hygiene, which was gradually getting worse as time went on.

Kaneki could only spend most of the day sobbing in silence, although he didn't expect anyone to take pity when they still saw him as a human. Ignoring most of the food that he was given, the packages of meat were left to pile.

With nothing left to do he devoted most of his time to sleeping, laying next to a stack of apples that were beyond his reach when he went to sleep every night. Only to awake hours past midnight peaked with restlessness.

He wasn't going to give up hope just yet; someone had to be looking for him. Where were Touka, Hide, and Yoshimura? It was unlike them to not see his absence as abnormal. Unless they just so happened to suffer a similar predicament. But Kaneki didn't see any use in doing so if all their focus was on him.

Trying to pull at the chains suspending his arms with a silent fury one day, Kaneki realized it was use. His human side wasn't strong enough for him to break, but neither could he turn to my ghoul side. The only option was to stay put something that he was tired of doing.

~ Itori ~

"I didn't want it to come down to torture but it looks like we're running out of time," Uta told Nico and Itori.

Nico objectified, "The boy has been through enough. To see things through means that it must be looked at a different light, if you bend things to little it won't budge but if you go too far it will happen to break".

Uta didn't understand, "Isn't that what we're trying to accomplish?"

Nico had to explain, "Just because something can doesn't mean it will. Take this piece of plywood I found the other day. I could try to bend it as far as possible using every ounce of my strength, only for my efforts to be wasted the second I let go when it returns to its original state. "If you want something to break cleanly, you'll have to use a different method.

"Watch closely to what I'm about to do. Taking this piece of wood I'll first make sure to completely straighten it with a hammer. Then, with one quick motion I'll snap it between my knees, cutting it cleanly in two, breaking it without bending it."

Uta and Itori clapped to the demonstration while Nico was humble enough to take a short bow.

"Thank you for the performance," Itori said, "But I would rather much see a magic show where a piece of wood is able to bend by itself."

Kissing Uta and Nico, both were taken aback at the seemingly strange behavior. Without saying a word she turned, knowing the 2 had deserved a little reward for their efforts but would get nowhere as close to transforming Kaneki then her.

~ Kaneki ~

Waking up Kaneki saw something "different" catch his eye. It looked almost as if it was a…. no it was a banana. Feeling his excitement take a hold of him he almost forgot that he was suspended and not entirely free.

Reaching it, he fell a feet short. Trying again he still fell short, this time by half an inch, which required straining his arms until they were about to tear.

Hearing footsteps, he turned to see Itori pick up the banana. "I wonder what this piece of fruit is doing here, with all these apples it seems to strike me as misplaced."

"No," Kaneki hoarsely whispered. "Apples and banana's can live together, they don't have to be apart just because they're different. The people who say they can't are wrong."

After the last words left him, Kaneki felt his body tense. The last time he recalled saying something "shallow" (When a ghoul, but only Kaneki insists on being human) she had left a painful reminder to prove what ghouls did to them. But she couldn't use it against him this time, not when the fruits were used as an analogy.

Itori now amused, thought of a question that Kaneki would not be able to defend. "Just answer this, do you prefer bananas or apples?"

Kaneki felt his heart jump; used out of context it was a simple question. In a scenario like this the wrong answer could be deadly.

If he said, "I prefer bananas." Itori would be inclined to give it to him. However "would" is not "will", not when it was a question and not an offer.

Even worse, the ample evidence would only prove his confession. When she recounted what he had once said on how, "ghouls were apples and bananas were human," thereby ending the game and leaving him with one less defense.

The second choice was simpler but no better; choosing apple over banana would just mean that he would never get what he wanted and go into conflict with himself again.

Kaneki had to choose soon knowing that no answer would be right for him. So he tried to answer with banana as discreetly as possible, "Ever since I was a ghoul, I lost the ability to eat human food such as fruit. Which means I can't change my perception of what I valued back then to now. But maybe as a human I would have wanted a banana over an apple."

Itori stood there thinking for a while before she realized the answer was no answer as all. "Ah, that's a pity, she said, "Unfortunately this banana is expired and I can't see you get sick, so I'll have to toss it," ignoring the dead awful state he was already in.

Kaneki stood unmoved knowing that it was her intent the second she stepped in the room.

Getting close to falling asleep, he had to be re - awoken by Itori who was violently shaking his shoulders.

"Home," Kaneki said drowsily, "When can I go home again."

Sitting directly in front of him Itori didn't fail to comprehend but neither would she give me a straight answer, "You seem reluctant to go, but the truth is that there's nothing the surface has to offer for ghouls, why do you think I run an underground?"

Kaneki was too miserable to laugh at the pun, "That's not true, all of Anteiku is waiting for my return and so is Touka and Hide," he said.

Itori said something he would later dread, "You won't blame them but your friends were the reason why you had been caught. Touka saw you off despite wanting to be there for you knowing how vulnerable you were but still did not hesitate to leave your side. And Hide," she had to pause so she could stand up, "Hide had willingly given away his phone, knowing that he had your contacts."

Ice pierced his heart, "That's not true, at-least not how it looked like." Kaneki stammered.

Itori pressed on, "You would be with them now if they simply took cautionary measures, but by failing to look on your behalf, you've ended up stuck with us three.

Back on point it seems to that I always forget what I originally had in mind when I talk to you. Which were the compliments that I've been so anxiously waiting for."

Kaneki froze, knowing what she would ask of him. All so he would eventually distance himself from Touka so he would gradually forget what he meant for her. Leaving him to turn back into a ghoul.

"Well?" Itori asked him.

"Your hair color is nice" Kaneki mumbled knowing that she had said the same for his.

Itori wasn't content, "It doesn't work unless you mean it, and right now you don't see to be giving much effort. So we'll have to change that," she said holding his unchanged eye wide open while fear had awakened the kakugan in his right. "Think of this as a change of perspective. I can have my compliments after."

Kaneki knew what she had in mind and it wasn't going to be pleasant. Too afraid to even hide the truth anymore, panic took hold over him, prompting him to reveal the consequences.

"When I was first in Anteiku, Yoshimura told me that I would be able to see 2 sides of the same world. If you take the only part of me that has seen the human side I'll never be able see the world the same again, not by the time it regrows".

Which is why it has to go, Itori told him softly.

Kaneki was afraid for once and not just from the pain, she had always come close to seeing him undone, but now she was there. The others had tried to see him as a ghoul but now she was going to make him see him as a ghoul for himself.

"No you won't have it, it's not mine to give. They're my mothers," Kaneki screamed trying to deny her with an excuse.

Tugging against the chains once more, he felt the last of his energy reserves leave him. Fatigue had done its work and now his own body could no longer support itself.

Seeing Itori lean closer Kaneki had expecting his right eye to be forced out, but realized that she was set on blinding him in a different way. Holding his eyes open to run her tongue run along his eye back and forth. Leaving a feeling of something warm and rubbery as Kaneki felt tears instinctively come to him.

Surprisingly she pulled away, while Kaneki looked on confused.

"I can't do it," Itori said. "I already know what happens next with no surprise there which is why I won't. I could've done this from the start and could have changed you in an instant. But as long as you and Touka share the same goals of living alongside the humans you call friends. You'll only turn back into the pure Kaneki in an instant even if you do see yourself as a ghoul again."

Itori sighed with her head leaning against her fist, "That doesn't mean we can simply see you go however, not when there'll be answers."


	7. Chapter 7

Authors Note: Expect a plot twist and thanks to my viewers, I have already exceeded my expectations of reaching 1000 views.

One of the things that I decided against when writing is going too deep into the story. Meaning that plot will not drive characters but characters will drive plot.

I didn't do so because it would lack for a better term, a sense of consistency that also makes it difficult to explain certain parts of the narrative. Especially since the story will branch from left to right if I did so.

~ Kaneki ~

Time could make a person accustomed to anything, which it did for Kaneki. For him, it meant that he had finally accepted his current situation. "These living conditions aren't so bad," he told himself. "Experiencing this peace makes it hard to go back to a world where conflict surrounded him at every turn."

It was a feeling transparency, letting things slide over him rather than into him. For the first time in his life he felt happy, or was that because he had forgot everything leading up to this moment.

Kaneki was too deep in his thoughts to hear the sound of 2 people approaching.

Out of Kaneki's sight, Touka had whispered to Hide so she could talk to Kaneki alone first.

Smiling sadly down at him, "God you're a mess," Touka told Kaneki." I know what've you've been through, and you'll want an explanation for all of this. But, it will have to wait until we're out of here, we can't talk her not when we're out in the open"(Hide would be listening).

"Touka, I don't want to go back", Kaneki told her. "Living like this has changed my perspective, if I only isolated myself I wouldn't have been a ghoul in the first place. I should have been, myself."

"Persistence can work, but so can a fist", Touka thought." "Kaneki you're not making sense, you went through all of this just to realize that the state you're in, is the ideal life you're living."

Kaneki flinched, "It's not that, I just had an idea that might bring humans and ghouls closer to together." If we promised to remain like this and be fed only what is given by other humans, do you think we could come to a agreement"?

Touka didn't want to hear this, dragging his collar until he stood to a standing position. Her face stood only inches to his, "You call this living! Spending your remaining years dreaming in your sleep!"

Some of Kaneki came back, still afraid of Touka's voice, "Touka I didn't mean I would live by those words, it was only a suggestion."

"Then stay with me", she told him. With a tug, Kaneki came free from the chains that had supported him for over a week.

Leaning on Touka, Kaneki found walking more difficult then he remembered, Hide followed only a few steps away from him.

"We're not going to Anteiku, just so you're not in for a surprise." She told him.

Kaneki was confused, "Did something happen when I was gone?"

Touka had turned her head just far enough to see that Hide's focus was on his music and not them, oblivious to what was happening.

"Rize's loose again, she's focused on eating you. Saying it's the meal she never got to finish."

Kaneki felt the pieces coming together, "That's why you wanted to send me away, Anteiku would be the first place she would look. We were all there when I first met her and if I stayed none of us would be safe."

Touka continued walking in silence for a minute before speaking again, "You're not wrong."

"I wasn't responsible for what they put you through, but their intentions weren't initially different from mine which was to still protect you. Well if they didn't do other things as well." She sighed, "What was it about a fruit?"

Kaneki seemed to lose interest in finding a banana. He was more concerned about something else,"Touka will I die if I see Rize one more time?"

Touka didn't understand, "Kaneki you'll only die if you go out of your way to find her."

Kaneki knew she wouldn't understand, "I have to know if the only person who saw me as a human once, will still see me as one now. If she can't see me as ghoul, Rize will likely kill me but if I'm not one, it's unlike her to go after me. There is also something else that I'll have against her, something that will make it hard to fully eat me and keep me down."

Touka took in what he had to say and answered, "Hide has told me a lot about you since I was gone and has told me a lot about you. I think part of what he's trying to tell me is that he knows you're a ghoul, but also won't see you and become afraid.

Kaneki knew she was trying to convince him otherwise, but he had to go, "Rize is still in Anteiku right now isn't she". It was unlike for Rize to cause stir trouble in comparison to Aogiri but Kaneki didn't like taking chances. "Nobody will die I promise. You can watch over me if you feel like."

Touka wasn't convinced, "What if there's a repeat."

Kaneki surprised her, "There likely will be."

Touka stopped, "Kaneki…."

Kaneki finished, "She will have to take the initiative to eat me, but it can't be after I'm dead." If I'm too weak from the attack, I'll need you as backup to help me."

Touka needed to know what he had in mind so he told her.

Kaneki made his way back to Anteiku with Touka and Hide. Everything was intact something he hadn't expected.

Then standing a few tables away, he saw Rize.

"She hasn't left that seat in days," Yoshimura sighed to no – one in particular. Finally seeing Kaneki he gulped, "You've returned."

Kaneki nodded without directly responding, knowing that all eyes were on him, he was given a an indirect gesture that spelled "It's best if you didn't stay here."

He had to remain calm and pretend nothing was off while Rize would likely do the same.

Coughing next to her, he hoped to draw her attention away from the book she was reading.

Rize turned, suddenly coming face-to-face Kaneki her mouth was now an O shape.

Everything was when it first began.

"Rize you had wanted to come to Anteiku to see me, correct?" Kaneki tried his best to avoid how strange the situation really felt.

Rize didn't fail to contain how she really felt coughing softly, "Yes, It's been a long time since our first meeting. It's a miracle that we've both survived the night of the ghoul attack isn't it".

This was what Kaneki had hoped for, that Rize was still holding on to the assumption that he had forgot everything after the surgery.

Kaneki held his hand against his chin before answering, "It's quite profound, it really is."

Rize wasn't going to waste too much time, "Kaneki do you want to revisit the same place again, it would relieve some painful memories".

Kaneki knew the answer without thinking, "Of course Rize, but would it be too much if I brought someone over"?

"I wanted it to be the 2 of us, we can't do the stuff we really want to do with 3 people," She chuckled.

Kaneki felt the heat come out of him, telling himself that the reason why he fell for her in the first place was her looks."

"2 it is," Kaneki quickly replied trying to ignore Touka's glare, "But can we move quickly, it's getting a bit too hot in here and I could use some air."

"You must be just as reluctant to leave as I am", Rize told him groaning. "You won't believe the service here. When has staring ever been considered polite?"

Walking down the streets, Kaneki hoped that he wasn't being followed. Rize would likely bring unnecessary casualties that he didn't need.

I know a detour to the to the construction site, it will be much faster and much less attention since it was never entirely finished and remains off ground's.

Before they were there, Kaneki knew he had to break it her. "I haven't forgotten Rize," Kaneki told her a bit more coldly then he would have liked. "But whatever lead to the accident, neither of us is responsible for the blame.

Rize was still suspicious, "Why come then?"

"Because I know you won't be able to finish me," Kaneki answered.

Kaneki knew Rize didn't like the answer as her kagune crawled out. Taking a few steps back he would have to brace himself for the hit, knowing that he only had to survive one.

Rize wasn't going to take her time with her food this time. Running towards him she felt fear come to her, "He's not even moving, this better not be another trap.

Her kagune went into him easily, tearing chunks off his abdomen and leaving him screaming in pain.

Kaneki's blood came down on her, the scent of it no longer the same. Licking the blood still dripping down her hands, she knew something was off.

"What kind of taste is this, it's almost, repulsive. What did you do to yourself"! Rize screamed at Kaneki.

Kaneki forced himself to smile despite the groans he was making, "I became a part of you, during one of Kanou's experiment. Eating me is like eating a part of yourself. "You could call it cannibalism, but I'm sure what you're tasting is 10 times worse since eating me is like eating you. I'm worth nothing to you now," his body slowly regenerating again.

Rize understood what happened but wasn't leaving yet, "Would you like to be human again?"

Kaneki never thought of this question until now, but now that it came to him that his answer was uncertain.

"I don't have the need to achieve that, not when I can convince myself that I am one."

Rize brushed her hair back, "You've accepted yourself but what about the others do they see the same?" I know what the people have said about you, and how you go off on your life has been a living hell. Why not have take a chance and erase the nightmare for good."

I only said that once, Kaneki thought to himself and disbelieving the rest," "It's never been done before and proven to work, why would it work now?"

Rize did not deny it, "It's nothing but small talk I admit, but during my confinement at Kanou I had nothing else to do except overhear things that were rarely said out in the open. It comes out unclearly but I think they've been trying to figure out a way to reduce RC cells. "You might not be able to be any less of a ghoul, but you'd be able to eat human food again, well for a time. This offer is of course for half – ghouls like yourself who was once a human."

Kaneki didn't know what to make out of this, "Who will perform the experiment"?

The reply would come as a surprise, "Why me of course, I have more experience than some of the people in Kanou for being one myself. Rize answered. "I know that look, it reminds brings me back to the night when I first bit into your shoulder. What you're asking yourself now is if it's too good to be true. It's either that or your questioning why you're even thinking about trusting a person that tried to eat you twice".

Kaneki had one more question, "Why are you helping me?"

Rize's voice began to lower, "You're different from what I've seen from the other ghouls, I can tell just be seeing how you reacted with me. Your decision to leave Anteiku was made in spite of your better judgment, to protect the people living there.

I never believed that ghouls could actually care for each other before. Even if you do become a human again, I believe you would still be a strong advocate for them."

With nothing left to say Kaneki had to say his farewells, "Thanks for the offer Rize, I'll take time thinking about what you've said."

Before leaving he heard Rize call him, "If Shuu is still around, tell him I'd like to see him again".

Only after Rize left did Touka re-appear, quickly feeding him before she asked him, "You're not actually going to consider it Kaneki, Kaneki?"


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: This is probably the only chapter that could also been a ONE – SHOT. I also wanted as much "drama" as possible so I tried extremely hard to make it as OC as I could.

Kaneki's dialogue still sucks, please bear with me.

This is the probably the best chapter so far in terms of writing. Chapter 1 to 7 have all had their own issues whether it's with the storyline or character design. I still have writers regret every now and then, which is essentially wishing I could have written some parts differently. But what is said is done.

~ Touka ~

"Get up Kaneki, I'm not putting up with this, your giving me my final answer, now." Touka's demanded. Barely able to open his eyes Kaneki wanted to protest how tired he felt but was cut short after Touka kicked him off her bed.

Dozing on the floor, Kaneki had barely enough energy to mutter; "Please we can discuss it in the morning Touka."

"No we won't!" Touka screamed. "We'll discuss it now, and I won't wait another minute because sleepyhead decided to keep me up!"

Kaneki knew he was partially to blame, he had after all insisted on spending most of the day seeing Hide instead of resting. Leaving him with little energy for the rest of the night when he returned past midnight.

Finally forcing himself up, Touka was not going to give him a break. Taking him by the arm, she led him to her bathroom where he found himself standing in line with a sink.

Holding his head underneath the faucet with one hand, she used the other hand to turn the faucet handle that ran cold water, all the way to the right.

Feeling the surge of icy water run down his face wasn't his preferred method of staying awake but it worked, "Touka, I'm awake! I'm awake! Please let go of me!" Kaneki screamed, trashing uncontrollably.

"Are you sure?" She asked him in a dangerously low voice.

"Yes, I won't go back to sleep, you'll have all my attention during our discussion", Kaneki cried in panic.

Closing the handle, Kaneki was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Dry yourself off" Touka told him throwing a towel on his face. "Come to the parlor after your finished."

Kaneki did so and took a blanket with him to so he wouldn't get a cold.

Making his way back downstairs, Kaneki took the seat facing her instead of the one next to her. Patiently waiting for Touka to speak.

"You know what the treatment will do, if it does manage to work." She told him.

Kaneki answered her honestly, "It means I'll be human again, and see everything rewind back from the start."

Touka smiled briefly the smile gone by the time she spoke, "It's your chance isn't it, to be able to leave the things you've carried with you behind. And your friend Hide, this will be for him as well."

Kaneki knew what she meant; they were all in the picture except her.

It was his turn to speak, "Touka I still need time to decide, but, regardless of what happens, you'll always be with me."

She didn't want comforting words, not now. Not from the person who was hurting her.

"I don't think it's fair," Touka told him. "It just isn't." the tears started to form. "I wouldn't have been like this, if we could change together. But if I let you do this, you'll be different from me again."

"I won't be able to be next to you anymore now when you'd be food for me, for all of us. I won't be able to take the risk."

"Touka I'm not leaving your side."

"That's not how the world works," she screamed before he could finish. "I've seen enough of the world to know what perspective is! And what you are is where you'll stand!"

"You think I don't tell myself that I should guilty for everyone that I've killed for the sake of food. And yet at the same time I can't stop it from happening again and again".

Kaneki knew his words would bring little comfort so he didn't try too hard to soften his words, "Touka, wasn't this what wanted you too, to live a normal life?"

Touka didn't answer immediately, "None of our lives have been easy. That's why Anteiku was made, so ghouls would be able to rely on each other".

"You won't need Anteiku when you're human again and you won't need me." Touka said."

"So if you want to change so badly just get up and leave. I'm not stopping you this time, do whatever the hell you want with your life! Just keep it away from me."

Kaneki knew he didn't have much time left to decide, it had to be tonight.

"Touka, I want to be with you more than I want to be myself. I won't take the treatment, not if it means leaving you".

Hearing this made Touka stop, "What I'm asking you to give up isn't easy, but you. You'll live through it." Holding on to her for the first time in months, Kaneki finely got the chance to embrace her.

~ Nico ~

"Our organization is as good as dead once Rize finds out that we were the one's responsible for her 'accident'." Uta said.

Uta, Nico and Itori had never been unhappier.

Itori sighed,"Kaneki didn't live up to his role, his confrontation was no less than I expected. I assume Riza got to pick her teeth with his bones, not that we could have used him against her anyways."

Nico seemed to be the only one that was slightly pessimistic, "The boy's not dead I hear, he's alive and well if not a little tired. Tucked away and sleeping in Anteiku with a lovely girl around his shoulders."

This came as a surprise to both of them.

Thinking it over, something was off to Itori, "Why would Rize keep him alive, she's never willingly let a meal walk away from her before?"

Nico spoke quickly, "I have 2 answers for your question." We could hope that she might not have preferred his new taste after becoming a ghoul and all. Or, that she may have found another use for him".

"Our Kaneki blames too much of his problems on being a ghoul and yet his life was hardly less tragic as a human. Still, being offered a chance of being one again is not something he would likely pass down."

Uta realized that Nico was on to something, "You saw the encounter between them, now what do you know?"

"Rize offered to make Kaneki human again, but it won't happen, not without killing him." Nico answered.

Uta eyes widened not failing to take in the meaning, "He'll live as a ghoul but still die a human. Not to mention the taste won't be nearly as bad compared to ghouls that cannibalize, making him a suitable meal to her once again."

"And all in all Rize wouldn't even be called a liar unlike you", Nico laughed. "Still we shouldn't let this happen, her resentment is on us all. She wouldn't have had her own organs removed and distributed if it weren't for us".

Itori had to know one more thing, "Did Kaneki take the offer?"

Nico frowned, "He hasn't decided, I fear it is not the worst."

"Then we can't move until we know his answer."

Nico blurted, "Surely he means more to you than that. Will you stand with me Uta"?

Uta shrugged, "I don't care what happens to him but I don't want to see him die either. Without him, my life would be hardly as interesting".

"I'm starting to feel this room getting a little cold, please excuse me," Nico said, turning away angrily.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Note: I might have some people find Rize way above her Ghoul ranking. That's not something I can really change that since it's just how it's written. I'm a little sorry for this . but just try and enjoy it as much as you can. 1.6k views is way more than I anticipated so I want to send a big thank you to my viewers.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life after this series is done.

This chapter also took a bit longer to publish so I also increased the length.

~ Rize ~

So he came after all, Rize thought, taking a brief glance at the boy that had made his way over the bridge. "You have an answer?" Rize asked Kaneki.

Kaneki had to ponder his words for a minute; "I can't take the treatment, it won't be fair if the person I've become ends up hurting others."

Rize's expression did not change, "That's what you were told, not what you've decided."

Kaneki's eyes widened, "She doesn't even know about Touka and she's already figured out the meaning behind my words," he thought.

Rize continued, "You shouldn't forget what 'you' want. Furthermore, I assume it was only one person in Anteiku, maybe someone close that influenced your decision. It doesn't seem logical that everyone would have shared the same outlook, not when so many ghouls have dreamed of being a human themselves."

"Rize had emphasized Touka's words exactly," Kaneki thought, suddenly finding it harder to breathe. "Was what she wanted for him, really for the best?"

Before he would disbelieve that there would be a chance that some people in Anteiku would see him off, but now things were different. What Rize had told him made it seem that Touka's actions as intentional by making him choose between being a human and her that night?

Still one thing that Touka said wasn't necessarily wrong; "Anteiku was a home for ghouls not humans, if I do make the transition I won't be able to return."

Rize's head turned just slightly, "You really believe they'd turn you down just because they'd see you as foreign again."

Kaneki didn't know the answer but he wanted to believe, "I don't think they will."

Rize smiled," You should trust your friends, but you should also trust yourself. Somewhere along the line there'll be conflict.

Kaneki stared blankly, wondering if there was anything else he should say.

"What if there isn't a right choice? "Remembering Touka's words about "2 paths going down the same road".

Rize had her answer, "Then accept it."

At that point, Kaneki knew the right from the wrong answer, "If I go back now, changing myself back to the person I knew would only be harder. I can't risk taking anymore step backwards".

As the last words left his mouth, a gust immediately fell on their direction.

Noticing that something was off, Rize grew serious, "We're being followed by another ghoul, the scent isn't easy to tell from this distance but I can still take it in".

Moving quickly, she knew the figure wouldn't be listening in the same place after being discovered. Peering forward to look down the bridge supports, she silently slid her Kagune down to drag a frightened Nico out.

Holding 2 of his arms in place with her kagune, the rest was positioned to strike.

Rize studied the peculiar person for a minute, taking note of his features. "You know, I don't take kindly to interlopers, especially if he was someone that was responsible for having me crushed, while everyone that looked on and called it an 'accident. What you didn't know is what came after, but I can tell you wouldn't like to be the one to live out your existence as an organ donor.

Dangling Nico by the leg with her kagune she held him over the bridge, ready to release him to his fate. The fall would be enough to kill anyone, even a ghoul.

Kaneki couldn't let this go any longer; "You'll kill him if you do this! Pull him back!

Starting to panic, Rize didn't seem to hear him. Standing on the handrails, he reached his hand out to grab Nico. Like everything that happened to him so far, he fell a bit short. Trying to extend another inch, he felt his feet slip. Sending him over the edge.

Nico was there to catch him by the arms, although doing so made Rize's grip over him even weaker.

"Kaneki! I have to tell you, something, very important." Nico voice trailed.

Rize's eyes fell on Nico, she didn't know what he was going to say but if it went against her favor she wasn't going to let him, "You won't unless you both want to fall."

Nico seemed to be far less afraid than Kaneki who was starting to feel beads of sweat run down to hit the road under him.

Nico yelled at Rize,"It's cruel to leave someone hanging between a height and floor. There's nowhere we belong here, do one or the other."

Kaneki didn't whether to be glad or afraid that Nico had said that, although he hoped that Rize would at least admire the bravery he still had.

Contemplating briefly, she pulled them back on the ledge. Although a bit harshly judging how Nico was thrown with a force that was greater than necessary.

Standing over them, Rize addressed Kaneki, "I have a purpose right now, which is dealing with the people that did this to me. I'll start with this one but not here in the open."

Forcing Nico up, she delivered her threat, "A word and you'll hit the ground."

Nico took her words literally, afraid to even a simple yes in agreement, choosing his answer by nodding instead.

As Kaneki saw them leave, a feeling of uselessness dug into him. It wasn't the first time he had ever felt before, but still ended up making him awful.

Running forward, Kaneki hoped that what he said wasn't going to sound stupid, "You won't kill him will you?"

Rize's head turned, "I might, I want all of them dead but I'll need him to tell me how to find them".

Feeling that watching someone die wasn't going to be much different than doing it himself. He didn't stop running until Rize put a stop to his advances.

Her kagune had tightened around Kaneki's neck, strangling him and leaving him breathless. "You know I don't like being followed, you should already learned that after I spotted him." Rize sighed.

When her grip was finally loosened, Kaneki found himself gasping for air. "What's the point in being a ghoul if everything about you says human." she told him before walking away.

"I could end this", Kaneki thought his hands tightening, "But if the process kills Kaneki, would it be really worth it? Trying again, he realized that going through the transformation again was a guess at best. He wasn't sure but there was a chance that no amount of torture would make him the "real" Kaneki anymore.

Kneeling next to the ground, his instincts told him to look up. Doing so allowed him to realize that Rize and Touka were now at standstill.

"You're one more reason why I wouldn't leave Kaneki's side." Touka told her.

Rize wasn't offended at the remark and came up one own her own, "You didn't trust Kaneki far enough to turn the deal down, did you?"

Touka scowled at the jab, "Coming from a person that nearly strangled him to death a second ago you have no room to talk. Regardless, I'm not letting you make off with that 'package', it's not something I'll forgive myself for doing."

Rize didn't believe it, "Is that so?" Why protect a man who's life mean's nothing to you. You should know that there's no use in hiding the truth when I've already figured out the real reason why you had to intervene. It was because you didn't want Kaneki to feel useless to you.

Rize had made her mark judging by Touka's long silence before she was finally able to speak again. "You don't know him like I do, you'll see it when I fight with his strength as well."

She wouldn't be able to win against a direct confrontation against Touka when she still had to keep her grip on Nico. So she decided to use a different tactic.

"You can pretend to care for the sad man that I'm taking with me but I'm sure that there's a person here that you value even more. Kaneki is behind me while Nico is in front. Fight me and I could easily kill them both of them the second you make any sudden moves."

Dropping to her knees, Touka gritted her teeth now that she was forced to admit defeat. Knowing that this would do little to make Kaneki happy.

Rize passed Touka without a word, while Kaneki could only look on. The best that could be said was that Nico didn't look a bit troubled and even turned around to send both of them a wink.

Kaneki found the encounter strange if not disheartening.

He really wanted Touka to hug him right now, but felt guilty for indulging himself in her when a person he barely knew was going to be murdered soon.

Sighing he wanted to cheer her up somehow, so he walked around trying to think something uplifting.

~ OOC WARNING ~

"You're not useless, not to me." Touka told Kaneki, the words causing him to stop. "Because of you, I know what it's like to care again, to see value in others and the things around me. Everyone should get to live, even if they've wronged people so long as it's in the past. The very people that are stuck on fulfilling themselves or their own revenge will never make it. They refuse to move on and condemn themselves by walking backwards forever."

Kaneki took her words in before he spoke himself, "Then we'll save Nico no matter how little or how big of a person he is. Touka will you follow me."

~ OOC WARNING ~

~ Itori ~

Seeing Kaneki and Touka didn't alleviate Uta's and Itori's mood. Neither one of them wanted to be the one to explain since the one that spoke first would likely be pressed with the blame.

The silence had finally reached a point where everyone was getting uncomfortable so Uta finally spoke, "I'm sure you deserve our apologies, I know the act wasn't, logical. But we were only trying to guard you from coming in contact with Rize, who we thought would kill you if you were still Kaneki."

Itori didn't want him to go any longer especially when it was no longer necessary, "Alright enough of that Uta, we promised that we would work together with or without the new side of Kaneki. This is overdue but you can finally get your hands on this."

Itori threw the banana that Kaneki had so badly wanted in his hands, now overripe.

Kaneki didn't want to linger any longer; he needed to address the real issue soon and hoped that they would take his concerns as much as he did.

"We didn't come for this, but it was nice of you to have done so anyways. We came because we fell on misfortune, Nico was taken away by Rize and finding him means that you'll have to tell us everything he did before he was taken."

Kaneki knew the answer wasn't going to come easily, even in a situation as drastic as this.

Itori knew how to go on, "I needed to know something first before I can give an answer. Did you accept the offer"?

Kaneki wasn't surprised by her question, "No I, well we didn't."

Itori knew who "we" was; the answer had been what she wanted. At – least this meant that his hopes wouldn't be crushed. "Rize can make you human again, I have no doubts that she knows more about the 'experiments' then she's telling. The procedure will work but it will also kill you."

This came as a relief to Kaneki and Touka, but she wasn't done.

"That's not to say that you couldn't be brought back to life, much like Rize did".

Kaneki didn't understand, "You said I would die, but the death wouldn't stay permanent"?

Itori concluded, "Your regenerative abilities will continue to function after you die, which was why Rize was a perfect subject in creating a host of artificial ghouls. However the ability is lost after you become human, there's simply no way you can survive but anything that happens before".

She didn't finish, it was clear enough. For it to work Kaneki knew that his body had to regenerate the injuries during the procedure before he was fully human again. It would be a risk.

Kaneki now had a more difficult question, "Where can I find Rize"?

Uta and Itori looked at one another.

Uta spoke, "We can't tell you that, I'm sorry. It would put some of our plans to waste. If Nico can be guessed, he would give away our position by a few days. So we'll use it to our advantage to trap her.


	10. Chapter 10

Authors Note: This is the closest I can get to a lemon without any drama involved. Sorry if it's a little too sour for your taste, I've never been great at writing them.

Making the chapter longer than usual also contributed to a few new issues, for one I ended up including way more description than necessary. Additional problems include an overall poor pacing within the story. While writing longer paragraphs usually mean more typos and editing and deleting sentences in far greater frequencies.

Choosing between splitting this chapter and making it the longest one in the series was not an easy choice. Ultimately I don't like leaving my fans hanging so I resolved to spend as much free time in writing to make it one "whole" chapter. Now that's it done I can finally get some much-needed sleep.

I'm just going to throw this out here, * **takes deep breath*** I really butchered the ending. I was in a rush to end this never ending chapter and I couldn't really tie most of my crummy plot together.

~ Kaneki ~

Kaneki was dressed in former wear, while Touka was wearing a velvet dress lined with cutouts. The attire they were wearing was just a disguise however; they had actually come for something else.

Shuffling around the crowd, they had made their way into the ghoul restaurant in relative seclusion.

Kaneki found it entirely unnecessary and brought it to Touka, "Shuu knows us, why do we have to pretend we're complete strangers when we're around him."

Touka hissed, "I went over this, can you keep anything longer than a sentence in your head. If we confront Shuu and have him reveal Rize's intentions to us directly, everyone will be able hear us at the same time we can. That's if we even find him."

The Ghoul restaurant was after all where Rize was last seen. From Touka's viewpoint she had to have come here for a purpose, other than sampling culinary.

Fixing Kaneki's wear, she pulled his tie back just far enough that it didn't strangle him. Hoping that tightening his suit would make him more alert.

Suddenly forcing Kaneki's head down she caught a glimpse of something she hoped she wouldn't have to see, "Keep your head down, we're not alone."

Kaneki was only able to see them for a few brief seconds but he wasn't mistaken. Uta and Itori had joined in on the fun, and had dressed appropriately in matching color uniforms of red and black.

He found it shallow, considering what Nico was probably going through right now.

Watching them pass by without a word made Kaneki shiver, it didn't seem right to be this secretive with one another. "Aren't we supposed to be working together"? Kaneki said, passing a glance to Touka.

She knew it couldn't work, "They might not want to, their organization is loose but still does things their own way. It's better if they didn't know we were here".

Holding him by the hand she led him away from where Uta and Itori were headed. Taking him to a refreshment stand behind a fountain pool, Touka didn't seem to have anything on her mind, while she tried to think about their next move after getting in.

It only took a few minutes but Kaneki was already starting to annoy Touka with his aimless wandering, now that it was making it harder for her to focus.

"Don't stand there and look clueless, try and blend in." Touka scolded at him. If you can't come up with anything that will actually help us, make yourself useful and bring me something to drink."

Kaneki took her advice and made his way to the refreshment tables. The drinks were labeled by there alcoholic content, so he decided that it would be wise for him to chose a non – alcoholic beverage. Knowing that making Touka drunk would mean that she wouldn't be able to keep up with her own demands.

Just as Kaneki was about to make his pick, someone else had made contact with it. Instinct made him pull his hand away but curiosity made him turn to look at the person next to him

His heart skipped a beat after he realized who the figure was.

"You're still the shy boy that I remember, too afraid to make contact." Itori smiled while she spoke without looking at him.

Uta had made his way over to Touka and brought his eyes towards her, "What brings you here today?"

Touka scoffed, her fist resting on her head, "The usual, you can't pull off anything that I won't be able to see."

Uta seemed to feign amusement, "You live up to your words Mrs. Kirishima they say a rabbit can see every direction."

Hearing the words, Touka lost herself in her thoughts, "So they're intent was to keep me and Kaneki apart. If so, it was likely to work in their favor since their plan had been different from ours. For a start Uta and Itori didn't have to rely on each other for the entourage to work, if it was outlined by both of them beforehand. Kaneki wouldn't be able to take his own lead without me and would only be less capable of being able to refuse Itori's demands judging from his timid nature. I can't be forceful either, not when it's apt to make a scene.

Touka wasn't wrong; Kaneki was being dragged away by Itori barely able to stutter out a refusal with, "I have to go back."

"Great now I lost Kaneki," she thought to herself. "Excuse me but I have to tend to business elsewhere." Touka told him, turning to leave.

Uta called out her name to stop her, for a second he looked sad and afraid. "Why won't you let Kaneki be himself again? You were always there to hold him back. He'll never change into the person we want him to be if you don't want him to."

Touka didn't expect a question like this, it had caught her off guard; "He's the same person with or without me." Turning around she refused to speak another word.

Kaneki didn't know where Itori was taking him and knew that Touka wouldn't be able keep up with him at this point.

Itori had forced into a crowd, only for her leave him by himself now that her hand had slipped away. Staying still for a while, he was given a gentle push by the person behind him.

Initially trying to find a way to be spotted by Touka, he gave up when he realized that there was no way she would ever find him amongst the commotion and confusion. Making his way to the middle, he could at least figure out why the crowd had all gathered here.

In the center was a coffin with a corpse laid to rest under it although most of him had been thoroughly eaten. Holding his hand over the dead man's head, he was still able to sense warmth coming out of him. Kaneki judged that it wasn't long before the person had died and would be delectable to ghouls who found it fresh and to their liking.

In any other instance Kaneki would at least have seemed indifferent, but after the body started to moan and move. Kaneki suddenly felt his stomach collapse. Shaking visibly, the ghouls around him did not fail to notice. "They kept him alive"? Kaneki thought in horror, "Even after putting him through all of this?"

"He's not liking the look of this, can we be sure he's not a human?" The voice of a ghoul rasped, "He could be a ghoul investigator that'll put the establishment in shambles if he isn't". Another voice replied.

"This isn't good," Kaneki thought to himself. The place had suddenly felt alien to him and unsafe. It wasn't like him to feel left out but trying to be as human as possible had taken its toll. Revealing his one eyed kagugan would be the easiest way to remedy the situation but it wasn't coming out.

"Give him a taste", a voice was heard from the crowd. "If he's not a human, he'll eat it willingly enough".

Kaneki recognized the sound as Itori's even when he didn't see her.

He had a severed arm tossed to him, still oozing with blood. The now alive corpse was now staring at him. All of a sudden he couldn't take a bite, it wasn't right. So he managed to think of something clever that Shuu had once taught him, "It's a bit uncomfortable to eat with people watching me, is it okay if I have a minute to myself?" He sputtered unconvincingly with his hand over his chin.

There was disagreement on why he couldn't have just taken a bite. Although the discussion was eventually settled that it didn't matter how it was done as long as it was done.

Noticing that the ghouls were leaving him momentarily, he was given the chance to tuck the arm into his pockets in a few quick motions that offered perfect concealment. The ghouls that came back to check on him were still suspicions but otherwise believed him and paid him no further mind.

After their focus was lost on Kaneki, he could now work on 2 things: Getting rid of the poor man's arm and finding Touka.

Passing through vacant rooms, he heard an ensuring struggle in a room.

He hadn't expected Touka storm out angrily, although her expression softened after she saw Kaneki. Knowing that he might want an explanation for this she began, "The person inside tried to force himself on me when I only wanted information; the only 'kiss' I was able to deliver was with my fist."

"Still you should listen, I figured out tonight's 'course' through some 'coaxing'. If I haven't been deceived it would be the same people that witnessed Rize's death. No doubt she had used Shuu to lure the few humans that witnessed her 'accident' to their demise. If so, she planned well and accordingly, killing them directly would be too risky if they knew the deaths were from her, but neither could she let word get around that she was still alive."

"Sparing them may be a kindness to them but for us it would also mean that Rize is left with one more obstacle. Of course we're not the only ones with our hands in the water. Uta and Itori are playing their own game whether it's with or against us."

Kaneki was supposed to be happy upon learning this but felt he hadn't done anything to contribute on his part. Thinking back to how Touka told him that he wasn't useless to her.

"Are you feeling alright, Kaneki?" Touka said to him, who was usually never this open.

Kaneki came back slowly, "I'm fine it's just, maybe I."

Suddenly stopping, Touka decided to patiently wait for his answer, her eyes narrowing.

Kaneki knew the last words would take all his breathe, "Shouldn't have come along."

He hoped Touka would understand but it had to be that she didn't. Jabbing him in the gut with her elbow, Kaneki was left with an upset stomach, "So you've suddenly decided to abandon your date for some godforsaken reason?"

Kaneki was rolling on the floor, "It's not that, I just don't feel like I belong here. There are some things that I can't accept when some ghouls can. Maybe if there were other half ghouls like me that I could talk to, I wouldn't feel so alone in this world."

This wasn't making Touka happy, "So it's another way to say I can never understand isn't it? That it was harder for you to go through life than it was for me because you didn't start life as a ghoul."

Kaneki knew that he was once again blaming his own struggles by being a half - ghoul. It was something he would have to change.

Jumping up, Kaneki had never felt this energetic before now that a wave of relief overcame him. " It's me being me again, I'm sorry for that. If I admit that everything I just said was wrong, could you see past it and forgive me?"

Touka had not expected him to react this quickly, poking him in the head, "You didn't have to apologize, I just want you to accept being you already. I need this here right now more than anything, try and keep up with me, I don't want to lose sight of you again."

Before leaving, Kaneki chucked the severed arm inside the room before closing it.

Touka wanted to ask but stopped when she knew it wasn't going to important.

Going with something better, Touka pressing her hand against Kaneki's. Seeing a small smile escape his lips, making Kaneki happy had the likewise effect of making her happy as well.

One thing was true; If Kaneki hadn't been a ghoul, he would never have gotten to know her.

The next move had to be done carefully; there were only a few individuals considered "influential'" that knew where Shuu was hiding right now and were all found in the ballroom. If things went accordingly, their names should have been familiar to both them and Shuu's. Which wouldn't give them a reason not to cough up the clues they needed to know where they could find him.

Touka knew that like Uta and Itori had gone separate ways for certain measures to work, now they had to do the same. "Kaneki, I may need to do something that you may not find, enjoyable".

"I'll hear it," Kaneki told Touka hoping that it wasn't going to involve something painful. "I can draw attention to keep Shuu's location safe while you question one of the "influential. But you have to know that doing so means that I'll have to take someone else's hand for a time being." She eyed another ghoul "influential" in the vicinity still dancing to entertain the viewers on the hardwood floor.

Kaneki pretended not to care, but couldn't hide his hurt expression when she met him in the eyes. Turning his back towards her, he quickly agreed, "It's nothing, there's nothing I don't understand, we both know that it's only necessary in accomplishing the mission."

Squeezing his shoulder, Touka whispered a quick, "Sorry" before she fled.

Making his way to the influential, Kaneki was disappointed to see Touka catching the attention of almost every ghoul in her vicinity through some "bold" dancing moves. Considering that he was unfortunate that he wasn't one of the ones that got to watch. Seeing Touka with someone else didn't cease to make him feel jealous even though he had known it was just for show.

Tearing his eyes away from her for the final time, he quickly came across an influential was snoring softly in a corner; discriminate by the attire he had worn. Looking around, nobody was here to overhear.

Kaneki waved his hand in front of him to wake him up. Failing to work, he tried to gently nudge him with his shoes next. This managed to do trick causing him to sputter spit and an inconceivable response.

Finally awake he looked up at Kaneki, "Greetings sir, I'll have to apologize for that display, has something happened?"

Kaneki bowed slightly, "I didn't mean to disturb you sir, but there is some urgent business I wanted to discuss with you, I'm Ken Kaneki and a friend of Shuu's.

The name peaked his interest, "Ken Kaneki", he said again louder than Kaneki had wished. "Ken Kaneki!" Almost screaming the third time. "The half ghoul?"

Kaneki nodded slowly, hoping that he would be able to give him an answer soon.

"Yes the man has said a lot about you, but you won't be able to hear it from him."

I'm afraid he isn't available to take visitors now, it's not that he's a man who dislikes company, it's more because he's fallen sick."

Kaneki knew something was wrong, "When did he get sick?"

"Just the other morning, I know what you're thinking. That someone must have done something to him for this to happen."

"Rize," Kaneki thought. "She anticipated that we would come here. Shuu wouldn't give in to what she wanted that easily, not if he didn't even like her. Following her instructions without complaint wasn't like him, unless, she had someone in charge of running the show when he was sick and unable to do so himself."

"Do you know where I can find him?"

"The man found the question uncomfortable, "He's usually on the balcony, it's unusual but not for a person who hates staying indoors".

"Even when he's sick?" Kaneki exclaimed.

"Even when he's sick."

Thanking the man, he went to find Touka who was waiting for him. The crowd had mostly dispersed, leaving Touka standing and by herself. Feeling his heart leap, he realized he couldn't take it anymore, to him right now, being without her meant that he wouldn't even want to be alive at all. Rushing towards her, he had only wanted to embrace her but ended up stumbling before he fell on top of her.

"What the hell, who's on me?" Rolling around she managed to push the person down, "Kaneki?" She yelled out in surprise.

"Uh, sorry for this, I got a bit too excited after seeing you," Kaneki told her.

"You were gone for 5 minutes, how was that long?"

"Well, I guess it wasn't, but you did say you'd never leave my side." Kaneki reminded her, now sitting up with his legs together.

Touka hated being wrong, so she swore to make him regret this. Running towards him she hugged him likewise in turn. Lying on the floor with her arms over his neck and her legs over his waist, she had him constricted like a snake. "Is this close enough?" She asked him, taking everything he had while she enjoyed his scent.

Kaneki awed by the display was barely able to make out,"Touka, you didn't have to-"

"I couldn't keep my word," she told Kaneki, inches away from him. "There are days I've gotten lost and can't follow it."

Releasing Kaneki a few minutes later, Touka helped him up, still above temperature.

"I figured out where Shuu is," Kaneki finally told her.

Making their way to the top floor, they found it nearly abandoned and pitch black. It could be contributed to the start of the dismantling show, one of the main events that were about to be shown. But it also could be something else.

Looking around, Kaneki was surprised to find that the elevators weren't responding. "So the power's not only off, it's dead," Kaneki realized.

"Touka I don't feel we can stay her, it seems the light's were intentionally cut by someone".

Touka was only a few feet away, still looking for a way to get to the balcony. "Nobody could have followed us, unless they were already here." She reminded him. There's no other way up unless I throw you, there are windows but they're too narrow for us to climb."

Then Kaneki realized something that he didn't notice before, "Shuu's trapped, or was trapped by someone. That's why we couldn't find him at ground level."

Kaneki made his way over to Touka who was prying the elevator open, hoping that she could at least see the number of floors. Kaneki did his best to help her despite not being able to do much at all.

The act of opening the elevator had triggered a mechanism; the lights were turned back on but also caused the elevator to release a cloud of tranquilizing gas. Both of them had inhaled enough for the effects to work.

Scrambling frantically on the floor, he was now panicking now that Touka had collapsed faster than he had. "Please don't let it end like this, I need you right now, Anteiku needs you." Kaneki thought, trying his best to carry her away as far as he could from the cloud before collapsing himself.

~ Uta ~

Kaneki didn't feel like he was dying anytime soon, the gas had left him leaving him conscious and awake.

Trying to move he realized that his movements were no longer free, cuffs on his hands had connected him to a person behind him. Turning his head he realized that Touka's back was against his.

"She's fallen asleep", Kaneki thought, listening to her steady breath. Doing his best to nudge her awake with his shoulders to no avail.

Trying his best to stand up he was unable to support her weight. Collapsing with a thud, the sound signaling approaching footsteps.

Uta and Itori had stepped inside, clearly indisposed to what was happening.

Kaneki hadn't expected it to be them, "If we're on the same side, why have we been left like this." Kaneki questioned them.

Uta looking apologetic gave them the truth, "We wanted Shuu to see just enough to convince him that we were on his side, meaning we couldn't directly free him but neither could we let you".

Kaneki took the information in, "What does Shuu have in relation to Rize?"

"It was our idea to use him against her, the animosity between them cannot be denied."

Kaneki didn't like hearing this; "Rize will kill him for a certainty." Shuu was formidable would still be outmatched.

"We wanted to use you at first, judging that your strength would have tied Rize's". But we couldn't turn you in time, and couldn't exceed certain limits either".

Kaneki understood what he had done, "Why did you keep me next to Touka."

"I didn't want to keep you 2 lovebirds apart this time," Uta told them while Itori blew kisses at both of them.

Staying stuck like this was uncomfortable enough but if Kaneki wasn't wrong, they were about to do something else.

Itori had whispered to Uta's ear causing him to look away, knowing what she did wasn't going to be pleasant. Passing something along to Itori, Kaneki noticed that her eyes were now wet with excitement.

Scampering next to them, she pulled at Kaneki's collar. Before deciding to whisper to his anxious eyes instead of his ears, "I wonder who'll squirm more after I get to do this, you or the you-know-what." At first he didn't know what "this" meant and only understood what she had done after he felt his skin crawl, literally after the "talk" was over. Which meant being subjected to having a centipede crawl down his back.

"What the-, get it off, oh please get it off of me!" Kaneki trashed on the floor dragging Touka with him, his screams growing progressively louder. " You have to take it out of my shirt, it can't stay in there, it can't!"

Kaneki's reaction had left Itori giggling before she had to bury herself in Uta's shoulder to contain the outbursts of her own laughter. Uta's expression was pure regret for letting her do this. Pulling Itori along, they took off.

He didn't know if there was a more uncomfortable position he could be in right now.

After trying to say everything he could to wake her, Touka finally woke up by herself, "Kaneki, where are we and what the hell is this?"

"Now she's awake," Kaneki thought miserably.

Kaneki had to explain the entire encounter to Touka again before she understood.

Touka thought it over before she came up with the next plan." How far can you extend your arms from behind," she asked him?"

Kaneki did his best stick his right arm behind him as far he could. Touka used the extra slack to twist the chains together and with some effort caused it to snap.

Grateful for the freedom, Kaneki emptied his shirt allowing the critter to find a new home.

Scratching his back, Kaneki felt his entire body tingling.

"Let me take a look," Touka sighed trying to get behind him.

Kaneki didn't need this her genuine concern not when he was more concerned with her than with him. "I'm fine now, there's no reason you have to worry-."

"I said let me look," Touka said again a little louder than the first.

Kaneki felt himself growing warmer, but turned around like she said. "Lifting his shirt up, she pressed her fingers to where she believed the centipede had been.

"Was it here?" Touka asked him. Kaneki shook his head so Touka continued to trace her fingers over his back.

When he brushed over a spot that made Kaneki cringe, she knew that she found it.

Pressing her thumb on the area for a while she lightly scraped the surroundings with her nails, although lightly had only been her way to describe it. Kaneki was muffling his screams.

Flicking her fingers, Touka guessed that whatever Kaneki had gotten, it wasn't going to kill him.

Pulling his shirt down, Touka urged him along. Although she had to tell him the truth, "There's a chance we may be too late, whatever Uta and Itori have planned won't be stopped by our interference alone.

"Can we still reach Shuu?" Kaneki asked Touka.

Touka thought of the answer for a while, "We were resourceful enough to escape in a matter of minutes which might not have been what they expected, so we still might."

Walking to the now functioning elevator, they were able to reach the balcony this time.

~ Tsukiyama ~

Scanning the area, they saw Shuu standing near the edge, which only meant that he was about to jump soon.

Running toward him, both Kaneki and Touka had to pull him back on either arm to bring him down.

Tsukiyama was sobbing, "I couldn't let this go on any longer, having to see my own establishment taken away by Rize. She's likely put it all to shame."

Kaneki knew this wasn't true, "Shuu nothing has changed Rize isn't even here, you're still the one in control here."

Looking up, "You really mean it, to believe there was a reason for trapping me here?"

"We can go down and see, but we sort of need you stop something first if you could."

Making their way to the dismantling zone they hoped they hadn't been too late. Greetings of Master Shuu were suddenly heard, and Kaneki guessed that they hadn't expected his return.

With a loud stop, all movement was halted including the scrapper that looked up curiously.

The "influential" that Kaneki had spoken to looked surprised, before Tsukiyama turned his attention to him. "You conspired with Rize didn't you, running the show while I was sick. The broken elevator was your doing to keep people from finding me."

The man now afraid confessed, "Everything you said is true but I have told no lies either, I even wanted the young man beside you (Kaneki) to find you eventually. You weren't well and neither did you dislike staying on the balcony."

Kaneki knew that he wasn't lying but had played both sides; he only restored the power after they were rendered incapable to make sure Uta and Itori got to him first. Or would have if they haven't escaped.

"You'll tell me everything you now about Rize or I'll have to leave you to the scrapper."

The man was trembling now; "She want's to destroy Kanou's experiments, the artificial ghouls. It reminds her of how awful she felt when she had her parts forcefully taken from her although she wants the man responsible, Kanou dead most of all.

Most of the work was done; however he wasn't sure where Uta and Itori had gone.

Touka pulled Kaneki out, sensing that it wouldn't be wise to linger for them to linger any longer. "The discussion should have been in private," she thought, "Rize still has other ghouls at her disposal. Making the pathetic man confess here had put them at risk, now that her plans had been foiled".

The few people that were meant to die tonight would be spared. Shuu had promised that he himself would owe it to them to keep them safe, unlikely as it seemed.

Once they were far enough away, Touka asked Kaneki if he had enjoyed their date, he wasn't sure if she was joking.


	11. Chapter 11

Authors Note: I can finally introduce some new characters in this chapter. If you were worried the series would end soon, rest assured. The series isn't even halfway done yet. I'll even devote some chapters into some lemons just to extend it if I can because I would hate for it to end as much as you do.

Having everything take place in Anteiku is getting a bit redundant. I know you're getting sick of having everything take place here, but TG doesn't really offer many settings I can use that can fit my story outline. I'll make changes to that in the next chapters.

There are some days when I just "can't write" (well), no matter how much I wanted to. Today was one of them.

If that weren't the issue then it would have to have been the characters going OOC again. I can't really develop my characters unless I start including them in the narrative, but even then, it'll take time to see how they'll actually respond to every dialogue and encounter.

I've read a good deal of fan made stories on TG and all of them portray Ayato swearing or using otherwise crude language. I know that it's his character and by leaving the swearing out, I'm also going to go a bit OOC.

That was a decision I had to make but I'll still abide by my own "no-swearing" rule. It's not because I'm strongly against using it, since it's more of a personal issue, but because it "kills" too much of the dialogue by overshadowing what I'm trying to convey. I have nothing against it outside of dialogue but then there wouldn't be much of a reason for me to use it at all.

Decided to run this through spellchecker, guess what my response was: "Yikes! I did not realize there were some many grammar issues and errors".

The last chapter had a lot of lemons so this chapter will have a lot of drama. This one is a bit more depressing then some of my previous ones, but I promise you there'll still be a happy ending (Thank you Ayato for screwing things up).

Please don't favorite and then un - favorite me. I'm trying to publish each chapter as fast as I can in a timely fashion without having a decline in quality. So just try and be patient, it really hurts when people start doing that.

Went through my own chapter and realized that Ayato "should not" have had this much of a grudge on Kanou. Maybe something will come up and there'll be a good reason for it.

Sorry for boring you with so much drivel, on to the next chapter….

~ Ayato ~

It was afternoon in Anteiku before the news arrived, Ayato's had returned and for once, had found something positive in life that he wanted to share with Touka. The message wasn't clear and was loosely translated to something about, "finally doing it".

Stepping inside Anteiku, the staffs present were all taken aback.

Wanting to speak to Touka in private, the request wasn't taken favorably. Arguing followed threats and soon with violence if Touka hadn't come out of the room to diffuse the situation herself.

Ignoring the protests of having something horrible done to her. She led her brother to her own room before she set the door on its hinges.

Touka focused her eyes on her brother, hoping that he wouldn't start with some rude suggestion about her room's appearance and how it couldn't have painted a better shade.

Luckily Ayato didn't wait, "The investigator that killed our father met the same fate today. I even made him remember how our father died so I could make sure I could kill him in the same way."

Touka didn't show any reaction, "What did you try to change?" All the investigators are responsible, just because one of them had to do the deed didn't mean someone else couldn't have done it in his place. I'm not going to rejoice in his death like you did, not after I resolved to put the life of a killer behind me.

Ayato was left speechless, there wasn't even a spark of interest in Touka's voice," You don't mean what you say, "

Touka wasn't going to say she was wrong, "Every person I've killed in the past was somebody: they had a face, a name, and a family. Even if they were horrible people, there was always someone who looked up to them. Now you want to tell me that I deserve happiness to see it finally done just because we can put the past behind us. I don't believe life will ever work that way".

Ayato didn't want to focus on other people's feelings, in truth he simply didn't care for them. "Just tell me if you're happy or not! What I did wasn't just for me, I wanted it done for us!"

Touka knew her next response to make its mark, "I would have been happy if you did it before everything happened, but not after. Not when I'm trying to change as a different person."

There was a long silence, followed by yelling downstairs.

Touka rushed downstairs while Ayato followed.

The man who stepped inside looked the same age as Yoshimura with similar features, "Kanou."

Touka wasn't going to take this lightly if it had something to do with Ayato, "I've you had anything to do with his appearance-."

Yoshimura took the blame, "He's clean this is my fault. I should have closed Anteiku today when I took my suspicions to the Clowns".

Kaneki went into his own thoughts after hearing this, "So they're helping us this time, but still aren't letting us work together".

Yoshimura gave the command, "Get the customers upstairs, Kaneki you'll go with them too. You'll be the one he's likely to want.

The precautions had been taken; Anteiku had been ready to defend this time. If he reacted with force it would be him against everyone. Even Ayato who hadn't been a part of Anteiku would defend it just so he wouldn't appear as useless.

Kanou looked surprised by the sudden action taken against him but said what he needed to say, "I know you have Rize, she's getting information from somewhere and killing my potential subjects. No subjects mean I won't be able to make any more half ghouls which is hurting my work progress."

It was the confirmation Kaneki and Touka needed.

Touka wanted to see him die, if not by her then by someone else, "You're the reason for this entire mess. You've been affected by what Rize has done but why should we care?"

Ayato added, "Why wait, we have him by himself. I have nothing to do with this but I know Anteiku won't get another chance to put him out."

Kanou wasn't concerned, "The name Kanou is a well-known name. I know none of you would take the risk of attracting doves by killing me, not when it's done here. And besides, I thought Anteiku had a law barring ghouls from hunting the customers here".

Touka spat, "Not from monsters like yourself."

Yoshimura had to agree, "We won't use violence here, the time for that is over. If you believe that Rize is here then you're mistaken; she made the decision to leave by herself, a few days earlier. I do not defend what either side has done to one another, but to hand her over to someone so easily who views human life as meaningless is not something I would do, even if it was within my power".

Kanou was deciding if he should believe him. "I don't want to leave without accomplishing something. I'll hold you to your word that Rize isn't here, but there is also a second person I would like to see. If you would as kind as to show me Kaneki, there's something I would like to tell him in private before I go.

Touka interjected, "You won't have him, not even if Anteiku has to burn down with everyone in here still standing."

Yoshimura knew that the situation was urgent, "Write the message down and I will make sure nobody except Kaneki see's it".

Kanou did not believe the measures were enough, "I have to see the message burned or given back to me. I will still have to have Kaneki present with us for the transaction to take place".

Yoshimura paused before nodding, "Touka, send Kaneki here."

Touka was almost wordless from her fury, "I'm not moving and neither is Kaneki, he's staying where he's at. The man has no right to give us demands, he'll say what he has to say to all us or we'll force it out of him if it ever comes to that."

This bold refusal sent everyone in Anteiku aback.

Yoshimura knew things weren't going to end well if they couldn't come to an agreement soon. "Touka you are being guided by fear right now, you have my word that nothing will happen to him, things won't end like it did last time, you have my word.

"Last time shouldn't have been even once", Touka thought

Kaneki was able to hear everything downstairs; thing's were going to end well if he didn't make his appearance soon.

Yoshimura noted that Touka wasn't budging, it shouldn't have to this but it was necessary, there was too much at stake if Kanou was really going to say what he feared he might say.

"Yomo, do your duties."

Without a reply, he was already making his way into Kaneki's room.

Touka was faster and blocked his path, neither one was about to budge soon. The standstill had only heightened the increasing tensions; most of Anteiku stood motionless, unable to choose a side.

Ayato was on Touka's side, but was going to use his own method to deal with this situation. His intentions for killing him was not out of malice but out of spite, nobody would get to tell him whom he could or couldn't kill. "I'm not from Anteiku so it'll have to be me who's going to have to do the killing, taking one more life won't matter. We'll see how safe you are when I get my hands on you Kanou."

The focus had largely been on Touka and Yomo, allowing Ayato's movement had gone unnoticed. By the time he was a few feet away, it was nearly impossible to put a stop to the altercation.

Kanou was armed with a RC syringe although he appeared reluctant to use it, "I didn't come here to meet my demise, what circumstances are there to kill me?"

It was his fault for coming without protection. The words he said couldn't protect him from someone who wasn't about to listen.

After Kanou realized that Ayato wasn't stopping, he decided that to put the weapon to use. Lunging toward Ayato he had attempted to take the syringe to his neck. "Too slow doctor, your patients were beyond help and now you can say the same about yourself," Ayato thought. The attempt failed just like he expected when he moved to the side, gripping his arm forward before he could take it back.

Nishiki had regained his senses and was about to move but had his arms held back by Shuu, who ignored his threats to kill him if he didn't let go.

Meanwhile, the conflict between Touka and Yoma had now turned physical, both have had dealt blows to one another. Although none of them had come close to killing.

Banjou too afraid to get close had thrown a chair at them, or would have if he didn't actually want to hit anyone. Opting to throw the chair against a wall instead, it clattered uselessly to the floor.

The rest of Anteiku weren't moving.

Taking his arm, he jerked Kanou forward until his knees crumpled to ground. Standing next to Kanou's right side he kicked his right leg in front of him causing the bones in Kanou's right arm came loose with a snap, the arm now bent sideways. The syringe hit the ground moments later to be crushed by Ayato who had it under his feet.

Kanou's scream could have been heard miles away, it had to be for most of Anteiku to realize how far things have gone.

Shocked to see it done, most realized that it had been the first time that a ghoul had intentionally caused this much to a pain to another human. Ayato had never been the sadist Yamori had become, what he did was out of an instinct. It wouldn't have been any different if he came into conflict with another ghoul, but what he had done was to a human. The crime made even worse seeing how it was largely unprovoked.

Ayato didn't seem to stop there; he followed the assault with kicks that brought more blood out of his mouth than air.

Hinami had to grab Ayato's arm to make him stop. She had only been able to get him since nobody had been able to see her dart past tables and corners until now. "Please stop, nobody want's to see this. Tell me what he's done to deserve it?"

The display had caused some of the stationary staff in Anteiku to move again, while Touka and Yomo had stopped, fearing that he would brush off Hinami in a way that might hurt her.

Ayato had finally listened for once and took a few steps back to see how bad of a state he had actually left him in. It wasn't pretty.

"My work will never be finished if things go on like this," Kanou moaned from his frustration as well as the marks and bruises.

Someone finally had enough sense to tackle Ayato. Touka knew that she had screwed up. If her brother could have "put" him through this without a scratch, what harm could he have possibly done to Kaneki.

"I have to kill him, if I can't no one else can," Ayato swore. Touka wanted to scream that he should have never come back to Anteiku, that his doing had put a risk on them all.

Yomo turned his eyes away, disgusted with what had just happened. "Yomo, see to Kanou's injuries. Anteiku will hear me in private".

After it was done, Yoshimura hit his head hard enough to make noise.

"Do you understand what all of you've have done? The damage that was done to him means that there's now enough evidence for him to launch an investigation if he goes to the CCG. If he were killed it would have been a guarantee. If he follows the path like I feared, Anteiku will be no more. We'll have no choice but to give him what he wants now."

Touka didn't know why Yoshimura put the blame on all of them; she knew it was only on her and maybe her idiot brother Ayato for acting irrationally. But of course, Anteiku's policy meant that they worked together, so one person's fault was on everyone.

Touka knew what she had to do, "No the shop will stay; I'll be the one who'll be leaving. He can't hold us all accountable, only the one that did this to him. If it comes to that, I'll take the blame like I did before".

While it would be feasible for the blame to be on Ayato, it wouldn't work since he wasn't from Anteiku. Nor could Touka bring herself to do this to him. Because they were still siblings, nothing could change that.

Anteiku had suddenly switched sides and begged Touka to reconsider.

Yoshimura's expression changed although he still didn't speak.

Walking toward Kanou she threw her rabbit mask at him, "Tell them to go find me, that's the only proof they're going to need."

Just as she was about to leave, she heard Kanou call Kaneki's name. The guilt overwhelmed her, prompting her to tell Yoshimura that she wasn't going to stop him from seeing Kaneki anymore.

Once it was done, Kaneki made his way downstairs, frightened and unaware of the situation.

Kneeling down to Kanou's broken body he heard him say, "closer." Prompting Kaneki to lean even lower. Looking at Kaneki, "Closer," was said again to him, which meant that he could only lie in a prone position now. When "closer" was said the third time they were almost touching although Kanou was finally "close" enough to say what he wanted to say, "How would you like to live in a world with only half ghouls."


	12. Chapter 12

Authors Note: I'll finally be able to explain the highly anticipated plot in my AU: Alternate universe. Your perception of some characters might change after this. Think of my favorite cliché while you read this, "You can't paint everything in one color".

Expect things to turn dark in the next few chapters, it's the only way to keep my readers entertained.

I also wanted to touch on some of the more emotional aspects and make the readers feel bad for some of the characters in here.

Publishing this chapter at 1:30 A.M was a mistake. It's true that I tend to write slightly better in fatigue but there's also a higher chance that I'll forget something that I should include. A simple re - edit may not be able to fix this but I'll see what I can do.

You won't find the name Waiter's Hospital in the manga, it was something that I had to come up since I've looked into it and realized it wasn't actually given.

Alright this is embarrassing, after re - reading the manga I realized that I missed the name.

It's just a theory, but I take it that most ghouls are afraid to show their real emotions, when there's a rooted fear that humans would betray them for it aka using it against them. Nishiki and Touka were a few examples that fit the list but I'm sure there are others.

~ Touka ~

Touka didn't know where she would go, only that it would far from Anteiku, far from her only home. She only wished that she could say for a certainty that she would be able to come back here.

Nobody in Anteiku had made a move to stop her save Kaneki.

"Please reconsider,"Kaneki had said it on his knees and would say it again and again.

Nothing would stop Touka from leaving however not after she had everything planned done.

Kaneki needed to get some reaction out of her; she was barely listening to the things that were being said to her, "How can you keep me safe if you can't even say the same for yourself."

Touka tired of his constant begging finally answered him, hoping her answer would keep him quiet just long enough for her to leave, "I can look after myself, my childhood years weren't always in Anteiku. I'll just live life like I did before."

"But what was before?" Kaneki thought, "How could that kind of life be close to the one she had here."

Touka didn't fall back on her other promises. "I also told myself that I would keep you safe; staying here would go against that and everyone staying here as well.

Kaneki was almost afraid of what Touka might say next, "Take me with you. Don't tell me I can't survive by myself because I know you'll teach me".

She wasn't giving in, "You're not coming along. I can't let you suffer for my mistakes."

"Then say it's my fault!" Kaneki screamed. "Don't keep me away from you or it'll be no different from what the Clowns tried to do! Please."

Touka finally had the preparations set, along with her destination. The only thing she didn't have is a clue was what she should do with Kaneki.

So she did something that she knew would likely paralyze him and keep him from following her. She finally kissed him, allowing Kaneki to enjoy the final contact of her skin before she parted.

Kaneki felt himself hitting the ground moments later. Initially believing to have fainted he only to come to the realization that he had pushed down after Touka left.

Picking himself up, Kaneki wondered what his life would be like now.

~ Ayato ~

Leaning back against a wall to plan her next move, Touka caught sight of a familiar figure after she pulled the cover of her hood forward, her brother. Hoping that he didn't see him, she turned her head to face the other away.

"Wait, you don't have to do this alone," Ayato tried to catch with Touka, "You're not the only one who has nowhere to go."

Touka scoffed to herself, "Now all of a sudden he's open about his feelings."

Still, she needed Ayato's expertise here; he had been more accustomed to this life than her. "Do you even know where I'm going?"

"Somewhere far from Anteiku?"

"Yes, but I also had something else in mind. I'm going to find Kanou and lure the CGC to him instead, we'll see what they have to say about his experiments."

~ Nico ~

Uta and Itori hadn't expected Nico to return; in fact they didn't even know that he would ever come back.

Nothing about him had changed, "It seems you two have fared no less poorly without me. If you'll pardon me for saying this, I found the reception a bit distant when I had expected hugs and not solemn stares".

Uta looked down pretending to be guilty, "Just tell us what happened".

"After some negotiations, it seems that Rize has agreed to free me once I promised to stop being an interference. What's more, she know has a lead on Kanou thanks to me, her pursuit will be off of us for now."

Uta didn't see this as a reason to celebrate, "She believes Kanou to be the greater threat, that doesn't mean Rize will forget us when she's finished with him."

Nico agreed, "We'll plan accordingly, it's one of her for every 3 of us. It seems I know Rize a lot better now, for one she knows far more than I expected. We can't take her lightly not when she's already figured everything out."

Uta already knew that Rize couldn't have survived this long in the open without experience and knowing the dangers of living in the open.

Nico elaborated, "She knows Kanou's target's or should I say 'subjects' for one, something that wasn't exactly easy for me to pinpoint. He's giving the people that stayed too close to ghouls 'examinations,' despite the fact that most are not showing signs of physical harm."

Uta and Itori didn't have to be told what the examinations were.

"Rize might be able to stand against a half ghoul but not if one turns into a hundred. So she'll play it safe and crush the egg before it hatches, I can only imagine the mess she's leaving in General Kanou Hospital." Nico sighed.

Waiter's Hospital was where Kanou had operated during his practice and where Kaneki had stayed during his surgery as well.

Uta knew Nico had told them this for a reason, "A hundred half ghouls would further our cause but we can't stop what's happening right now. If we do, it would only help Kanou and not ourselves."

Itori knew what they had to do, "We'll have to make it seem like a trade rather than an offer, in exchange he'll give us something in turn."

~ Kaneki ~

Touka's disappearance had made Anteiku empty; Kaneki wasn't the only one to experience this. His friends had called out her name and apologized for it right after.

The days dragged on slower than ever while Kaneki only felt half the person he was before. The other half of him belonged to Touka and left him when she did.

Then one night, something unexpected happened. During the closing hours Kaneki had found a note written under an empty coffee mug with the word's Rize scrawled over it. He knew where to find her.

The bridge where they first met was different this time; winter had finally set making it difficult to walk.

After Kaneki caught Rize's attention she addressed him first this time, "We all want to find happiness in our lives. It could be waiting for us or it might not even be there.

Kaneki took a cold breath, "This will have something to do with me."

Rize gave a tiny smile, "What you decide to do after you learn the truth can make you happy. But the opposite won't do the same."

Kaneki needed to know, "Will you tell me?"

Rize didn't wait, "I will, there's nothing I'll hold back from telling you, not anymore. You know who Kanou is, we both do and what he does with his experiments. He's able to create half – ghouls out of humans and will soon have enough to overtake the real ghoul's."

Kaneki knew where she was going with this.

Rize looked at Kaneki briefly before continuing, "It may look like I'm the only one that's winning but it won't stay that way, not for long. As far as I can tell, everyone is against me: The Clowns, Kanou, You and even Yoshimura, unlikely as it might seem.

The last sentence nearly made Kaneki slip, "No, Yoshimura's different from them, he wouldn't want this".

"I know that look, it's uncertainty and it's asking me for proof. I'll give it to you, for one Yoshimura let you keep your secret and you agreed. He may have already known but needed confirmation before he was willing to take the risk. He didn't have to ask you for the answer he saw it from your response."

Kaneki didn't know where she was going with this, "I still can't see how they're tied together."

Rize hated explaining, "Is the name Eto familiar to you?"

It was, "She's Yoshimura's daughter."

"It's not for him, but for his daughter who is a half – ghoul like your self. There'll be a place for her in this world and for you as well," Rize pointed her finger at his kakugan.

Kanou's words came back to haunt him, "How would you like to live in a world with only half ghouls."

Rize didn't need Kaneki breaking down before she finished so she reassured him, "Don't believe that Yoshimura would go far enough to put anyone you know in danger. It's likely he'll still denounce him but neither will he hate losing if Kanou does manage to win."

Kaneki swallowed with difficulty, "What will happen to the ghouls that weren't made to be artificial."

Rize built the anticipation, "It's likely they'll all be cannibalized or killed. Half ghouls, the stronger counterpart of their own breed will replace them."

This wasn't what Kaneki thought would happen, "All of them?"

Rize reiterated, "The good and the bad, those you call friends and those you see as enemies."

The first though that came to Kaneki's mind was Touka, "I can't let this happen."

Rize knew why Kaneki was thinking but didn't mention it, "You can say what you want about the matter, but in the end I only want to know what you'll choose. Unlike you, I'm not backing myself with only words. I've taken control of a few wards and forced them to work together. They go by the Dicer's and will likely kill any half ghoul they come across, including you. I would stay away from the wards until then, that's the most obvious advice I can give you.

Just when Kaneki had finally warmed up to her, he had to force himself to accept that she wasn't on anyone's side including his. Why did it matter, he shouldn't even be thinking of their first date now that he had Touka, even if she wasn't here. He blamed the cold for doing this by making him sad and vulnerable.

Rize was telling him everything she knew, he wouldn't get another chance.

"Which side are The Clowns taking"?

Rize pondered, "That's not an easy answer, but I'll answer it as best as I can based on what I already know. The Clowns were always fascinated with half – ghouls, there's a rumor that one resides in their ranks right now. They saw them as strength and a weapon that they themselves didn't possess physically. Their weakness was overlooked by intellect however, even now it would seem that all three are all equally as dangerous. However, from what I've been able to see the more intelligent a person is the more likely they won't settle with the consensus of group, only complying when things are done the way. Maybe I could find a way to twist it to my advantage by turning them against each other….

Noticing that she was getting sidetracked Rize finished what she had to say,"I don't want to leave you hanging so I'll tell you this, if they could switch places with anyone right now it would be Kanou".

Kaneki knew she meant. Thinking for a bit, he came up with his next question, one that stuck with him for a while,"I spoke with the Clowns after you departed with Nico to find out the details about the ghoul reversal procedure you offered me. They told me that it would kill me, but that I could still be brought back to life by living off of my regenerative abilities."

"I've had Nico released after he gave me the information that I needed to know. Regarding what they've told you, the term kill is used loosely here and will only mean what you think it means."

Rize needed time to explain her next answer.

"If a person loses his identity, will he still the same person? That's something nobody really knows. What I can say is that if you do become human again, you won't be the same one. Your conscience belongs in the body of a ghoul, if it's taken away from you, you'll lose everything that makes you who you are."

Kaneki wondered if being a different person would make him better or worse.

Despite trying his best to come up with more questions, he found himself coming up short. Deciding to end their conversation he asked his last question, the only one he felt was a little rude, "If I side with Kanou, will you try to kill me?"

Rize found the question amusing, "I've had more than opportunities to kill you than there have been days, what makes you think the situation will change regardless of what you decide to do.

Kaneki didn't know the answer, "Maybe it's because we still share similar interests? I still have the book (The Black Goat's Egg) you left in Ante-"

This exasperated Rize, "It's because you're the only one I can talk to. I'm not comfortable when I'm around other ghouls and nor can I form a close enough bond with a human when the day comes to eat him.

The words almost made Kaneki cry on the inside; it had been awhile since someone told him something that made him feel this, important. The last time he heard someone say something similar to him was from his mother, "Spending all these years by yourself have made you lonely, hasn't it?"

Rize wasn't going to let Kaneki go any farther, "That's enough! If trying to kill you twice didn't prove that I was never interested in you! I'll make sure you get the message the third time!"

Rize was just avoiding the issue as she turned to walk away.

Kaneki didn't care what she would do to him, "You're afraid, afraid that your emotions will take over you! You pretend to care for others when you lure the humans you call food, seeing it as a game and robbing the guilt out of yourself by telling yourself that every human you come across would do the same. They say ghouls don't have emotions but I know it isn't true, it's not that you can't love it's because you don't want too".

Rize lunged at Kaneki faster than he could finish drawing breath. Holding him in a chokehold while her kagune came out from behind her, he felt his hands and feet impaled by them. Holding him up in the most painful manner possible, she had perfect control over them and could easily tear his limbs off of him if she wanted. "Take it back! Take it back or you'll be dead for good!"

Kaneki had never seen Rize like this. His entire body had seemed to shut down from the pain. Was he really going to die just for Rize to see his point?

The words were hard to get out, "Kill me… and you can be… alone…. again."

Rize froze. Her kagune, which had been fully extended, had begun to retract. Causing Kaneki to slide on the ground.

He initially felt that Rize would leave him, only to realize that she choose to stay by his side instead and knelt on the ground next to him.

"I'm not going to watch you die, so here," Rize told him, extending her arm out to his mouth. "Don't bite more than you can chew, I don't want to end up like you."


	13. Chapter 13

~ Touka ~

It was harder for Touka to adjust to her new life than it had been for Ayato. She had seemingly forgotten that food didn't appear in conveniently wrapped packages and someone had to go through the trouble of getting it. As a result, her hunger hadn't been satiated the day she left Anteiku, making her more irritable then she and Ayato would have liked.

It only took a few days before her body started to collapse from the exhaustion. Only the consumption of meat could make her the same person again. It was unfortunate but she knew she couldn't have brought it over in the end. Having it on person was a risk that Touka couldn't take when it would attract unwanted suspicion.

Ayato left with no other option, had to carry Touka on his shoulders. Letting him slide his body under her shoulder, bringing some of her memories come back to her. Kaneki had volunteered to do the same thing for me when the fight with Mado had completely exhausted her.

Only this time, it was her brother who was less then gentle and didn't hesitate to spew insulting comments about lifting dead weight and how he would drop her the second they found their next meal.

Neither of them had the right to complain when they already knew what to expect: traveling longer distances in a shorter amount of time meant there would be no time for them to eat. Going hungry for an extended period of time was better than being discovered by the doves that were looking for her.

However there always the possibility that Kanou hadn't turned her mask in to the CCG, making their dangerous mission a needless one and a complete waste of time.

As they trudged along the uneven streets, she noticed that Ayato had stopped moving.

A boy who was barely age 8 was seen wandering the streets past midnight.

Just as Ayato was about to rush forward to meet his next meal, Touka had guessed what he had intended to do and pulled him back.

Gripping his arm, she knew they were better options to choose from. They could have come across someone homeless or an irresponsible drunkard. He wasn't worth the meal even if they did kill him when you considered how small he was in portion. "Don't tell me you've done this before." Touka turned her head to look at Ayato.

All she got with a grimace from him.

Touka thought the situation over. It did seem out of place for a boy to be wandering alone at this hour when ghouls tended to be the most active at this hour. the CCG haven't been above using bait or easy targets to attract ghouls. The catch was to wait and see how long they could make it look convincing.

The boy, who had appeared calm minutes before, suddenly started to panic. "Was it because he had seen them". Touka thought who couldn't see that well herself when she stood far from the streetlights at night.

Touka was wrong, there was someone else.

Figures came out, taking form. 4 ghouls with a similar mask had approached the boy before they did.

"This is scrapper's work, anyone could have done this just as well." A ghoul complained.

"It's no different from what the rest of us have to do," another voice reminded him.

"Just get on with it," a third ghoul said.

These were the same ghouls from the Ghoul Restaurant that had confronted Kaneki.

Her heart jumped when she saw the boy's life cut short with a penetrating blow to the stomach. Turning away she realized that she had been far less accustomed to her old life then she had expected. Ayato's reaction was more or less the same.

"Are half ghoul's worth eating?" A ghoul asked

"Rize didn't wanted us feeding, it slows down the mission." Another ghoul replied

"Unless she's behind us, I could care less about what she thinks." He answered back. "I'm only doing this so I won't have to watch the people in my ward torn to pieces for disobeying her. Now the hypocrite wants us to stay away from a particular half ghoul called Kaneki. I'm sure all of you remember how she made us look at his picture for hours just so we wouldn't be mistaken."

"Touka had turned back to look, the boy was dead but what for and what did all of this have to do with half ghouls and Kaneki?" Then she remembered the incident at Ghoul Restaurant and what the cornered "influential" had told them. About destroying Kanou's experiments and wanting Kanou dead most of all.

She understood the rest.

The ghouls were lead by Rize who had never wanted the position until now. If so, she had been busy, the wards she now controlled was spread across entire cities Touka knew, coming from Anteiku.

"This could have been him if Yoshimura and I hadn't found him," Touka thought with horror, almost wishing she hadn't treated him this poorly back then.

Nothing could be done for the boy who had died and largely abandoned by the 4 ghouls.

Touka had Ayato take her to him. She didn't want to be the reason for this but they needed to hurry. Taking a bite she noticed the taste was familiar, almost like Kaneki's shoulder.

~ Kaneki ~

Kaneki wasn't so sure what to make out of the "examinations" that were being passed around at his University were during school break. Studies that allowed participants to experience what it would like to be a ghoul.

He found the details peculiar since they were only recruiting people that had encountered ghouls before.

Hide had been one of the wiling participants despite Kaneki's pleading that he had no idea what he was getting himself into.

Trying to reason with him, Kaneki told him that people should be grateful for the life they were given. Remembering Touka's words, he wasn't going to complain about being a ghoul any longer but neither did he want to see anyone go through what he had to. Not that it was likely to happen to Hide.

It seemed that he almost relented until he heard about the special "offers" that made him change his mind.

Setting his own desires aside, he went along with Hide's decision only if he promised to remain in contact with him everyday. Which he hastily agreed knowing that Kaneki would no longer be buzzing in his ear.

The messages sent to him were consistent at first. The stay hadn't made Hide any less cheerful and was only discomforted by the fact that Kaneki wasn't here with him. Otherwise, the examination room was where he had everything he ever wanted given to him.

Kaneki asked him if he found it a bit odd that an examination would take this long and when it was over so he could leave.

Hide replied that he hadn't gotten an answer and wasn't given the specifics of what was going happen.

Kaneki had wanted to be happy for him but he couldn't. It wasn't just the distance between the 2 of them, but how he didn't mind being himself without him.

It didn't take long for Hide's situation to become serious.

His messages had started to appear less coherent, almost erratic. Describing how most of the items that they had been given had been taken away, replaced with books that detailed almost everything about ghouls. And was constantly aware that they were unknowingly being fed food was impossible to keep down. The people that tried to leave had been tied down to their beds by the examiners.

This only sent Kaneki in a panic, screaming internally through the messages that he had to leave right now and do everything to escape even if it came down to the use of force.

Hide still wasn't taking his opportunities. Lead with a false hope that things would gradually get better as an optimist.

The frequency of the messages decreased while the descriptions were more disturbing. Hide was certain that a few people were being murdered every night and that no one would intervene when it happened.

The last message was a mess of letters, which could only mean that the phone had been taken.

After that, nothing he sent to Hide was returning.

He heard nothing hours after until he received a message that a "friend" had recovered Hide's phone and was supposedly on his side "to help." Sighing he remembered the first time he had fallen for the trap.

Kaneki believed Nico to be the likely suspect but was open to other possibilities. He wanted to ask more questions but what met was a reply that "his friend" couldn't reveal anything further.

He had to leave but he also couldn't, Rize had warned him that staying near the wards would mean his death.

His own mask would be recognizable so his only option was to "borrow" someone else's. It could be anybody's but the more careless or indisposed they were with it, the better it would be for both of them.

Judging each person in the coffee shop accordingly, the least responsible person in Anteiku would be Roma, who had broken more dishes in her lifetime then Kaneki had eaten from.

Taking glances in her room when she wasn't looking, Kaneki wasn't wrong about his intuitions. Her mask was never in one place and neither was everything else.

Having the robbery done in the middle of the night only made what he had to do more uncomfortable. Being caught here would be the end of his reputation in Anteiku.

Waiting until the time hit midnight, he made his way into Roma's room as quietly as he could.

Fumbling through her drawers, desks and closets he had come to accept that the mask wasn't in her room today. Turning around to leave, he realized it had never left her because she had been wearing it the entire time. He contemplated the possibility of taking it off, only to quickly put it aside as an insane thing for him to do.

When morning arrived, he realized that he should have just asked. All he needed was a good reason other than the truth.

So he gave a bit of effort to sound as convincing as possible before asking Roma if they could swap masks for a few days or longer. He was taken by surprise when she shoved her mask against him before scrambling into his room to find his.

He was less than happy to know that his room would be made as messy as hers by the time she was done. He could have saved all this trouble if he had asked to use Shuu's mask instead.

Putting Roma's mask on before he stepped outside of Anteiku, he found it surprisingly quiet.

~ Eto ~

It was too early for the shop to open, so his best excuse would be to get some air although he used the same excuse on Rize.

He hadn't gotten more than a few feet before things grew sour, apparently the clowns were more open about their organization then he had initially believed and were also included in Rize's hit list. Wearing it in the open had probably done more harm then good.

Being confronted with ghouls in all directions was not something he expected to see.

"I'm from Anteiku, the coffee shop down the street. I hope I haven't done anything to upset you, if this was about the misplaced orders, I'll have to apologize to each of you individually since it's in our policy."

He never got a reaction.

One ghoul had leaned close enough to take his scent, "Rize must been all over him, what would she have to do with him.

None of them had treated Rize wishes with any respect despite seeing her as their leader.

Kaneki didn't know what to make from the suggestion. "Can I pass through?"

The ghoul who made the inquiry considered it, "No we'll have to take you back to her, she'll find a use for you."

Kaneki couldn't afford to wait any longer he had to go to Hide now. Thinking quickly he came up with a convincing lie, "Look I know Rize, she and I are a little more than close. I wouldn't have had her scent if we didn't share something in common. Stopping me from running my errands won't make her happy with all of you."

He hoped it would work but it didn't. It wasn't that they didn't believe him, but more because that they did and were sick of being told what to do something they never wanted to do.

Screaming and yelling followed, forcing Kaneki to distance himself from them.

Just when they were about to corner him, he saw a figure in white draped with a red robe jump down and in an instant clear most of the ghouls surrounding them.

He had closed his eyes hoping to see as little bloodshed as possible, and was grateful to see that the figure hadn't killed any of the ghouls unnecessarily. Some of them might have become friends with Rize, now that his words had made her more open to her feelings.

Left with a bandage clinging to his head, he quickly returned it to its rightful owner.

Facing the figure, Kaneki recognized the person he had seen. The person must have stayed near Anteiku the entire time.

"Name?" Eto stood on her toes to direct the question at Kaneki, although her eyes hadn't been focused on him.

Kaneki didn't hesitate to tell her.

"I hadn't expected him to be you, I was expecting someone more, determined."

Kaneki didn't see it as a compliment. Still thanking her for the help earlier he continued.

Eto stopped him from walking away, "Your father Kanou wants to see you, he said I would be the one to bring you to him."

Kaneki's breathing grew shallow after he heard this. He was escaping one snare to fall into another. "Father Kanou? You've must have mistaken me for the wrong person. I don't have a father, the only relative that I lived with was my Aunt before I came to Anteiku."

Eto took a few steps closer to him, "Kanou is your father. You're his. You wouldn't be able to be call yourself you if he hadn't changed you into a ghoul."

Kaneki wouldn't accept this, "I take what I said about my family back, they're in Anteiku with your father. We can meet him but I won't be able to go with you if we do."

Eto knew what he was doing, "What you're saying sounds more like a refusal."

"Alright I admit it is, but I really can't go with him or you right now. There's something urgent I have to do".

"And what would that be?"

Kaneki could tell a lie or reveal the truth. "I have a friend that I have to see, he's not feeling particularly well".

Eto tilted her head. "You can't cure someone by staring at them like this you know." Emphasizing her words by leaning her head inches away from him.

Even if that were true, Kaneki still didn't see the point she was making. "You're just making what I have to do more difficult."

Kaneki didn't know how fast he would be able to run, but it had to be faster than her. Walking at a brisk pace at first, he caught her by surprise by suddenly sprinting. If she couldn't keep up, he would lose her soon.

Everything was fine until he realized that Eto wasn't running behind but ahead of him. Stopping a yard away, she extended her leg to send him crashing across the ground.

He briefly remembered her skipping and humming a tune.

Lying on the ground he wondered why she had to be so persistent.

Finding ways to fool her, he tried this, "What if you learned…. that I wasn't Kaneki?"

This left Eto thinking, "Then what else would your name be?"

Kaneki couldn't respond with an answer that sounded believable.

"I thought you were, is there anything else you'd like to add?"

There was nothing he wanted to add, "What does Kanou want with me? He performed what he had to do to save my life but also made me into this."

"He wants you to be around his younger children, growing attached to anyone else will only hurt you later on."

Kaneki knew she almost said artificial ghouls, Rize had warned him that they were already starting to take over the real ghouls. It hadn't occurred to him that she had only told him this to take her side until now.

Left with one last option, he decided that blowing her cover would by the only way to keep her away from him. She couldn't be seen with him unless her credibility as an author was ruined.

Grabbing the linen cloth around her head, he struggled to pull enough of it back to reveal her face for him to see.

Surprising Eto as much as it infuriated her, "What do you think you're doing you creep?"

"I know you're also my favorite author in there," Kaneki felt himself turning red.

Throwing Kaneki off, he finally agreed to come if his author promised not to tell anyone what he had done.


	14. Chapter 14

Authors Note: I don't like making up my own characters because I can't even stop existing characters from going OOC. However I couldn't take it anymore when the lack of original characters was killing me.

You can probably guess who the "mysterious figure" is. It's not a new character so you can rule out that.

I am going to finish this series even if I can't motivate myself to write on certain days. Although once I start writing, I rarely stop. Music helps me regain my focus.

I apologize if you find this chapter a bit short, I needed it done to separate it from the next one.

~ Kaneki ~

Kaneki wasn't going to stay around Eto long enough to meet Kanou. He had drawn a plan in his head and would be the only who could see it.

Hide was the only focus in his mind aside from sleep that Eto had denied him. Moving was their first priority but even she couldn't hold out much longer than he could without proper rest.

Reaching him meant traveling down the streets, a slow and difficult progress for both of them. The ghouls that passed them by had all wanted to know their business, ending with a refusal that could only be resolved with conflict. It wasn't easy but he had managed to hold back her just enough that no ghoul had to die because of her.

Eto served as his protector, keeping his safety ahead of hers by walking ahead and clearing the area before she gave the signal for them to proceed.

Between the breaks, Kaneki tried to speak with her but found it difficult when he realized that she wasn't a person that enjoyed meaningful conversation. Sen would, but not Eto who always answered with a negative remark.

Asking Eto she wanted to see his father again after 20 years of separation, was met was a reply that she really didn't.

Asking what she would write for her new books were met was a reply that it would be about a human boy that shared his first name. Her character, Ken, would never stop asking questions until ghouls ate part of his brain, making him unable to ask at all.

Asking if Eto and Sen were the same person made her stop, turn around, and stare at him until he apologized 100 times, before she looked the other way.

He stopped trying after that.

Kaneki never realized how useful Eto was to him until now. Her protection meant that he could still reach his destination indirectly if the one they were taking came to an overlap. Waiter's Hospital wasn't far from the mansion that Kanou was staying in, meaning that Kaneki could separate himself from her once he got close enough.

He didn't have to wait long before he would have his chance. It wasn't obvious but the repeated attacks were beginning to tire Eto. If it continued, she wouldn't be able to keep up with him if he decided to run.

Kaneki would have done that if some moral guilt hadn't held him back. She had risked her life to take him here and hadn't wronged him in any possible way. He wondered if it was realistic for her to have halted Yamori's torture but he was beside that.

Still, he couldn't ignore what was happening to Hide by relying on his "friend" to keep him safe.

He hadn't gotten any further updates from the figure until tonight with Eto fast asleep in the refuge of spaciously grown trees. Telling him that he had only received a message because it was suddenly "urgent."

It read, "I cannot relate to your current situation as of today, but I do know what has happened to your friend. I hope you are not blaming yourself for this, but he is in immediate danger. His upmost safety is as much as your concern as it is mine. "

Kaneki knew someone who used this type of voice, the words misgiving and apologetic but no less deceptive when you considered what he truly was: a person that looked trustworthy enough to be a traitor.

"This was just a mask he wore, he could have been a completely different person behind it, just like Rize". Kaneki thought.

"You were the "influential" that I met at Ghoul Restaurant. A friend of Shuu's before you betrayed him and went to Rize." The message he sent read, loath for having to say it.

The reply came slowly, "I know you have little reason to trust me, but if you give me time I can convince you".

Kaneki wasn't so sure, "You took Rize's side, the Clowns side, but never our side".

He didn't deny it, "It's true that I was on everybody's side but now I'm on yours".

That was impossible to believe, "If you've taken everyone's side, it means none of us can trust you."

The message he sent back was almost painful for Kaneki to hear, "I can only say what I said before, that your trust in me grows with time. But please understand that this was not what I wanted us to discuss. I need your help to save your friend so please listen to what I have to say.

"Maybe he's right, I haven't been this harsh on anyone before not even on my enemies." Kaneki thought guiltily.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier, I should have listened to what you said."

"We must work together, even if you have to despise me for it. A name would be a good start. I go by Kaddo although you can also refer to me as "Kidder". "I already know who you are so there is no need for me to say it. But I go any further; there is someone I'd like you to meet, who would like to send his greetings over.

The voice was different from Kaddo's.

"Hello there, your name is Kaneki isn't it? I've heard a great deal about you and consider myself grateful to meet you in digital person as Suski. If you did not already know, I was the person that came across your lover. We shared a dance together although I would have politely refused her if I did not know she was already taken. It was something irresistible that brought us together and not love or interests.

Kaneki found it a bit uncomfortable having to listen through this and was grateful for the relief that came after.

"You were supposed to hand the phone back after you introduced yourself. There's more important matters that Kaneki and I have to discuss", an annoyed Kaddo said over the line.

"I've revealed enough that you need to hear the rest. What Hide went through wasn't an examination, it was an experiment, research done on both ghouls and humans".

"So none of Kanou's experiments willingly volunteered to be half – ghouls?"

"I'm afraid not, most were deceived through offers that weren't honestly marketed, which was the likely case for your friend."

"But these are still people, people don't do this to other people!" Things were different for ghouls who held no qualms for killing each other.

"You naïve child," Kaddo whispered under his breath.

There was an explanation, "You can call them people, human, or anything that you want if you think they'll be safe. But by the time the experiment is done they'll be ghouls themselves".

"I can't let my friend go through what I did, you don't think it already happened do you?"

"No, Kanou has been too afraid of Rize to engage in his "activity" lately. However he's also getting information on the days that Rize wouldn't be active. That's when he will perform, which is why we must be able to reach your friend before then."

"What if I can't make it there in time?"

"You must! What difficulty have you run into that has made the excursion inaccessible?"

"I'm being taken into Kanou's mansion right now by an escort, although I wouldn't have been able to make it this far without her".

"Can you escape?"

Kaneki looked at an unconscious Eto.

"I could but I won't get very far, Rize's half ghouls haven't left us.

"You can't defend yourself?"

It was hard to admit, "No"

"Can you at - least run?"

"Yes, I think I can."

"Send me the name of the your street, I will tell you how to proceed."

~ Touka ~

Once the last ghoul had fallen from her blows, Touka was barely able to support herself. She and Ayato weren't half ghouls but would be indiscernible from a dead one which was why they were still being hunted.

This was Rize's fault for letting her people get out of hand, she never told them to hunt existent ghouls, but that didn't stop them from doing so anyway.

Touka wasn't even sure if Rize even led them anymore. Most had their loyalties divided, forming new groups and leaders. It wouldn't be long before she lost her control over them would be lost for good and what would she do then?

She had stirred more trouble in the wards then she had before her days of binge eating.

Ayato was in superior shape until a ghoul had broken some of his bones again, causing him to suffer a breakdown until Touka managed to feed him.

They couldn't survive another attack but neither could they remain.

It was something she would never forgive herself for doing, but they needed to secure someone's home. Staying out in the open would mean their deaths for long.

Ayato wasn't reluctant to the idea at first but agreed when he told her that they could spend an entire day resting.

The homeowners they met had all mistaken them for fugitives and turned them down. Most saw them as orphans (which they were) and offered them food and water instead of comfort.

They were about to give up when a figure wearing a mask had not only opened the door but also urged them inside without a word. Touka and Ayato stood in discomfort, a little too late to turn back.

Untouched food had been left on the table, ghoul food that could only be for them. This hospitality was rarely seen from other ghouls, the exception being Yoshimura, which only furthered their distrust.

The host however, had seated himself and already helped himself to the dishes set in front of him.

Touka and Ayato slowly did the same, their body still tense.

It was difficult to trust a person who wouldn't show his face, but neither would it be polite to ask the person to reveal himself. The only thing she could tell was that he was a man although a frail one at best.

Tipping a glass of fermented blood wine at them, Touka did the same. Ayato, disinterested in the exchange had rested his head on his hands and looked away.

Touka nudged Ayato with her elbow until he half-heartedly did the same.

Touka and Ayato found eating difficult, Touka was dimly aware that the man had been watching them take each bite and Ayato had noticed the same. The fare was not lacking, everything had been prepared to suit there tastes and was more then enough to keep them full for another several weeks.

"The drink didn't kill them, neither did the food, so it must be in our sleep," Ayato thought.

The separate rooms that were provided were spacious, clean, and tidy. Touka and Ayato didn't recall asking to stay overnight, which only made it more disturbing.

"First he reads our thoughts, next he'll be granting us wishes," Ayato scoffed to himself.

After the figure had left them, Touka had suddenly forgotten to express her gratitude. So she made the decision to step out of her room to thank the mysterious person, only to realize that he had left the house.

"Don't bother, he's likely deaf," Ayato told her which earned him a glare.

He hadn't returned the next early morning with more food and something else.

He had retrieved Touka's mask.


	15. Chapter 15

Authors Note:

This was another anticipated chapter that took longer then I wanted.

This is completely irrelevant but I just found this song and it's a perfect theme for the ending of this chapter: FFVII Crisis Core Soundtrack: Why

This will be another chapter that pushes plot.

I was finally able to slip a pun in.

Spoiler Alert: The clowns get the last laugh, for now…

The start of the last chapter was way too dark so I did my best to make it look comical, you probably won't find it very funny.

Touka didn't attack Kaneki out of jealously, just to clarify. She was genuinely more concerned for Kaneki's safety since her conversation with Nico revealed that Rize had killed her closest friends to protect her identity.

The person that decided to un - favorite me gets to drown in my tears….

~ Eto ~

Eto was growing suspicious of Kaneki's behavior lately, now that he was seemingly reluctant in reaching their destination.

Her suspicions were only increased when she noticed that Kaneki had been checking his phone when she wasn't looking directly at him.

Asking Kaneki who he was speaking to wasn't going to the answer she wanted so she decided to take on Kaneki's role herself.

Looking over them wouldn't be able to tell her much when Kaneki had taken the precautions of deleting the "important messages" beforehand, leaving only side chatter, which had helped him ease the boredom.

The next time Eto asked him to surrender his phone over to her, she sent a few messages of her own back, making Kaneki scream internally.

Asking for his phone back would only reinforce the notion that he had something to "Hide." He could only count on Kaddo and Suski to steer clear of Eto's trap.

It was Kaddo who answered this time, too careful to rush ahead. The sudden shift in Kaneki's voice wasn't missed.

"Hello, is this still the same person that I spoke to earlier?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"You asked me if I preferred eating a sandwich or a human? I just found it a little off, that you didn't already know the answer."

"I wanted to be sure."

Kaneki didn't fail to take note of what Eto had done. The first step to finding out the person behind the line was to see if he was ghoul or human. A single answer would reduce the possibilities by half. This was complicated even further was Kaddo's moral belief against lying.

The messages continued back and forth, starting from Kaddo who guessed the person wasn't Kaneki.

"Only a ghoul would ask something like that!"

"Stop trying to avoid the question."

"My tastes are more refined then what the answer satisfies."

"Just…say… it! "

Kaddo didn't see too much harm in saying, "yes," so he did. Although he told Eto that she couldn't tell anyone else, not that it mattered when she never knew his name in the first place.

Eto processed the information

"Your friend could be in danger if you don't answer the next question faster then the first," lazily flicking her middle finger painfully across Kaneki's head, making him yell.

Kaneki knew what she said was unlikely. Kanou wasn't going to see him in a condition other then satisfactory when he got back, it was why he had sent Eto.

"What business do you have with my client?"

"I'm afraid of his safety when he's still out in the open. Sending messages back and forth was the only way to guarantee it, a mother's worry but one I found necessary."

Kaneki found his explanation, unsettling. This was what he told Hide before he was taken, so how did Kaddo know this, unless he spoke with Hide directly. If his guess was correct, bringing him to Waiter's Purpose might have been for a different purpose.

Eto had Kaddo elaborate his answer, "What else are you afraid of?"

This question was harder for him to answer, "The unexpected, I like seeing things ahead of time but there'll always be something I can't predict."

Eto was interested, "Seeing is believing but tell me something about you, that I haven't heard already."

"I look forward to meeting you in person."

Kaneki didn't understand why Kaddo had said this, hadn't he realized that he had raised a red flag. Then again, what Kaddo said could mean anything as long as Eto was still unaware.

Somehow Eto took it for a threat and dropped the questions and his phone, causing Kaneki to dive for it, moments before hitting the ground.

"That will be all."

Communications between Kaneki and Kaddo were now cut, none of them dared to speak further about the matter. But it wasn't necessary past this point, he had been told everything after their first contact. The rest was just reassurance and advice.

The remaining days went on slowly, activity among Rize's ghouls had slowed down but didn't completely disappear just yet.

Irritating Eto when she could no longer keep up with him after she exhausted herself by repelling the attacks on her own.

She wasn't going to stay silent about shouldering the burden anymore and made it clear to him, "Is it a different view back there or are you oblivious to what's in front of you?"

Kaneki crossed his arms, "You never asked for my help."

This ticked Eto off "Let me remind you, you have eyes."

He knew she didn't have to, "I never wanted to get involved unless it was necessary, if I wasn't an obstacle you would have put me ahead of you instead of behind."

Hearing this made Eto collapse on the floor, "I'm hurt! It looks like you'll have to take control now".

She couldn't admit she was vulnerable right now. This would be an invitation for Rize's ghouls to meet them head on.

"You're making a scene, what will people think of me when they see me next to you like this." Kaneki stammered.

Eto only moaned, sending Kaneki in a panic.

After refusing to budge without a good reason for her to do so. Kaneki found the words to motivate her, although it would also put some of his planning into jeopardy. This wasn't what me and Kaddo went over. "Since we're in no hurry to meet Kanou, why don't we see something else for a change?

Hearing this peaked Eto's interest, curing her of her "injuries". "And what would that be?"

It was too late for Kaneki to turn back on his promise now. He could only hope that dragging her here would be for the best. "We could see Kanou, make a half ghoul."

"But it won't be Hide," Kaneki thought.

"It would be something to see their reaction, do you think it would be okay for your Father?" Eto looked at him like a timid child.

Kaneki forced himself to say it, "Of course, he's my father. Seeing me there would only brighten his day."

Eto rolled herself into a standing position. "You'll still have to take the lead if you want to show me the way".

~ Touka ~

Touka and Ayato had stayed longer than they wanted in the masked figures home, it was to say the least comfortable, with no lack of provided comforts.

There was no longer a need for them to run as vigilantes any longer now that Touka's mask had been recovered by the man in the mask. This however also had a likewise effect of souring her chances of being able to incriminate someone like Kanou now that the CGC was no longer after her.

She and Ayato had a few options left: they could wait for the activity to die down before returning to Anteiku or they could continue looking for Kanou regardless of the evidence pressed against him.

There was also something left to do here as well, the figure that had led them here hadn't revealed his face to them since he had taken them in. Making curiosity take

It had to be someone she knew, she cast her suspicions on someone in Anteiku who went undercover.

She brought her concerns over to her brother, "We have to find a way to take off his mask. Our safety isn't guaranteed if he's wearing it." She wasn't about to rip it off along with his face however, she wasn't about to repay him for the kindness he showed them this way.

Touka wasn't going to get any help from Ayato who suggested that it had probably something to do with being torn between 2 sexualities.

Still she took those words into consideration, trying to coax the figure at first, asking him what was on his mind and if she could take a closer look at him.

The figure did not fail to take her request, but didn't give in to what she wanted. Turning around to take off his mask for another, he handed the one he had worn over to her.

Asking him to see him again only prompted him to wear a third mask and so on after that.

She decided to wait until midnight, once the man was asleep, the mask was coming off.

Some preparation had to be done beforehand, to see how easily awaken he was by disturbances. Touka had spent a few minutes each night walking around his home to see if he had taken notice. A sound sleeper, she would have the mask off and on him in a heartbeat.

When she finally had it done, the figure wasn't expected. It was, Nico? Touka dropped the idea of letting him sleep.

"How long have you been spying on us?"

Nico hadn't been a mute, "I can explain, we don't have to start with accusations."

"Then explain!"

"I was only looking after you and your brother. There was only a need for me to interfere when your situation grew, desperate."

"That's not all you were doing."

"If you must know, I was also imagining how beautiful you two would look if we put you together in a certain way-

"Stop, now you've violating my thoughts." Touka walked around the room, trying to accuse him. "You weren't going to open your doors to anyone, it had to be us."

"I had both of you delayed, I was going to reveal myself and take you to Kaneki, when it came time."

Touka needed to know, "Why him?"

"We need him to bait Rize into a trap, he's the only person she trusts right now".

Touka wasn't going to let this happen, even if the things he said were true. "All the Clowns do is use people for their own selfish gains. Even helping us wasn't out of kindness then it was planning.

Nico surprised her, "That's not true, I cared for Kaneki when no – one else did. I wanted to stop Rize from killing him on the inside. If he had taken Rize's offer he would've forgotten everything, including who he was and now you'll know why.

Touka didn't respond.

"It was her guilt. Failing to kill a human for the first time meant she could only see that person as a friend, something she never wanted. She saw nothing from them until she met Kaneki, who refused to hate her for what she was.

There was a long pause. "He doesn't love her does he?"

"No, his heart belongs to you, the attraction between you two has never been stronger then the day he choose being you over being human. Still you should have never left his side, you know he can't do this without you."

This made Touka flinch and bring up her second question, "How did you find my mask?

Kanou turned it to Anteiku after you left. He told Yoshimura that you would have it when you came back. Now that it's in your possession, you'll have no choice but to return.

"I'm aware that there's something else you wanted us to do, before that."

"You can be smarter you know, it's not just for you to see Kaneki. It's something else. But I won't force it on you not when the idea was never mine."

This surprised Touka, "You've stopped working as a group?"

"Not yet, but it's clear things will change drastically soon.

~ Kaneki ~

When they arrived at General Kanou Hospital he hoped that they weren't too late. Kaddo had promised this wouldn't happen if they came before Rize arrived.

Kaddo and Suski weren't near the entrance. So he guessed they must have been waiting for them inside.

Making their way around wasn't easy among the debris. Things only got worse when they got inside and found the walls completely touched with blood.

Eto examined the state, "They need to paint these walls a different color, one that doesn't stink like blood."

"That's because it is blood." Kaneki held his shirt over his nose, trying his best to ignore the atmosphere that had made him dizzy.

Rize didn't make this as gruesome as she could without a reason, it must have done to frighten Kanou into stopping his work.

This could also be a reason why most investigators had been too afraid to enter, this type of horror isn't something most humans can stomach".

Kaneki hoped his acting skills were still in check. "I think I've heard someone, we have to Hide, Hide you hear me. Hide! Hide!"

"Don't scare me," Eto warned Kaneki who startled her by his behavior.

Kaneki only tried to scare her more by the screaming the name even louder then before.

Running from her, he hoped she wouldn't pursue him. It would be a cruel joke once it was over.

After Kaneki's voice slowly died down, he realized that there were sounds coming from the other side a door.

~ Uta ~

Stepping inside he realized that everyone he knew was here: Touka, Ayato, Kaddo, Suski, The Clowns. They had come together for a purpose.

Kaneki met Touka's eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever. There would be time for that later, "I came for Hide."

"Nico took him away from here, he'll be safe." Uta comforted him.

"Without me? I wasn't even here to see what happened."

Nobody answered.

"Someone has to speak to me."

Uta did, "We rescued the half ghouls and humans alike. This mess was only for convincing, to help falsify the belief that Rize had killed everyone already. It couldn't be everyone disappearing."

"You came a long way but we need you to do one last thing. Negotiate with Rize the same way you did before and have her end her practice of killing of half – ghouls, who aren't being killed out of the necessity of food anymore."

Kaneki didn't understand how he had known, "Nico wasn't there."

"He didn't have to be, it was something we figured out. Rize didn't hunt you down herself when you first left Anteiku. What you did, changed her somehow, you'll be the only one she listens too."

"What Rize did was never right, but stopping her will only strengthen Kanou. She told me that if the half ghouls are released, there'd be no more real ghouls."

"That won't happen, by keeping the half – ghouls we rescued away from her. They'd look up to us; even protect us when Rize comes for us. The half – ghouls won't be the threat only she will."

Kaneki knew who had benefitted. The Clowns were getting the most out of the deal.

What he said next wasn't gong to be easy, but it had to come out. "I've seen what Rize can do, she's stronger then all of you! She's the only one that can stop Kanou right now, that's the reason I can't go against her!"

A pause followed.

Touka spoke with her head down, "What the hell is that supposed to be mean?"

Kaneki knew what she was thinking. "This isn't about choosing anyone over you. What I'm trying to say is that bringing Rize down isn't the answer."

"Then why do have faith in her and not me."

"Because none of you are admitting the truth, if you won't help her stop Kanou it will have to be me".

Touka's voice was dead, "So you'll stand with her when no one else would."

It could have been anyone in the room, but it was Touka that struck him with her hardest blow. Landing Kaneki on the floor if Kaddo and Suski hadn't caught him.

The room grew silent.

Touka could barely contain herself, "Don't, speak to me, ever again, go and die with Rize if it makes you happy!"

Kaneki understood why she had to do this, what he said had put him in danger. He had chosen to protect someone that didn't care for him over someone that did. And maybe, they really would, die together.

Touka couldn't beat the refusal out of him with punches.

This was what Rize had felt by staying alone and away from ghouls and humans alike.

If she wasn't a young woman maybe Touka could see through jealousy, the realization made him laugh hysterically before it broke into sobbing.

"Please, you have to take what you said back. You know I've always loved you Touka. You're all I have left, there's nobody waiting for me anymore (Well maybe Hide, but he was desperate)."

Kaneki didn't know if his sobbing proved the things he said to her, but something else did.

Hearing the voices grow louder, he looked up.

His hair, it couldn't have turned color again, but it did. Pure white like it did during Yamori's torture, when he felt unloved, when no one would save him anymore.

This was when Touka knew the tears were sincere.

"Get it off of me." Kaneki screamed pulling at the strands. "It'll turn back, I know it will. Even if it won't, I won't let this stop me from being myself. You can't leave me after your promise, that we would live together as humans."

The Clowns had won while it was over for Kaneki who had just lost everything.

Kaneki had curled into a ball, whimpering softly before he calmed down.

The door opened with a creak, revealing a frightened Eto who only heard Kaneki screaming. There was nothing else to do, "I'm ready to go Eto."

Touka moved but stopped after she rationalized, she couldn't go where Kaneki was going.

"Just come back for me idiot," she told Kaneki who stopped crying after hearing this.


	16. Chapter 16

Authors Note: I might have broken a third wall in Kaneki's chapter because the characters in TG are technically, drawings.

I found another song that goes well with Kaneki's chapter: Frances - Grow (with lyrics)

You'll learn my OC Kaddo's backstory in this chapter. Maybe I'll write Suski's backstory in the later chapters as well.

This chapter introduces concepts that **aren't in the manga** so please don't hate me. I'm only trying to expand on some new ideas.

~ Rize ~

Rize hadn't expected Kaddo to be the one to find her here in the right ward. Maybe it was her doubt that got her into trouble in the first place.

Kaddo always looked like a nervous wreck to her, too afraid to speak his mind.

This time he was different, who almost looked demanding.

Rize wanted to know, "Who were you promised to this time Kidder."

"I'm sticking with my own choosing, Kaneki will be the only one I'll be helping now."

"And who is he helping?"

Kaddo stood uncomfortably, "He's helping, himself and someone else."

Rize knew that someone else could be her, "If you wanted to deliver the message, you should have spoke first."

Kaddo looked away, he found it impolite to address someone, especially a young woman like Rize this way.

"The Tsukiyama Family will be arriving soon to take you away from your ward, under Ghoul Law for trying to expose Ghoul Restaurant to the outsiders. We've dealt with the unintended guests you brought in. Who were later questioned for their intentions and have proof that they were with you went you entered. We counted 47 in total, 47!"

Rize didn't stay close to books, but guessed that Ghoul Law was a word that Shuu made up.

"You told me this because you hate surprises, it's sad but I'll have to give you one".

Kaddo stared sputtering, "Hold on, you can't, say surprises!"

"I finally know why you gave yourself a new name, Kidder. You wanted to forget your old life."

"Drop the act!"

"You were still a youth when you decided that being human made you unimportant and worthless. But maybe, it wasn't entirely your own doing. At a younger age, your parents ruled that the discussion could only relate to ghouls. No matter how much you wanted, you couldn't make them pay attention to you. They were driven fanatics, who wanted ghouls to prosper above humans.

Kaddo's mouth was open in apprehension.

When you learned that it was possible to become one, you offered yourself as a willing participant for Kanou. You weren't a very successful one starting out, but did know a great deal about business, which was how you were able to become an influential. It offered you sufficient protection, but still made you careful to an extent. Protecting your identity required you to gain the trust of others and betray them later so you could be useful to everyone.

Kaddo was shaking now that she had been able to reveal most of his past. He didn't want to believe that she knew the rest.

Rize didn't leave the reason, "It seems I left what I wanted to say out, Kanou's experiment turned out a failure. He discarded you after you couldn't even bring out your kakugan. Your talent turned into a curse, every ghoul you met wanted to know how you perfected your disguise as a human, dissatisfying you to no end. Wanting revenge done on Kanou for the way he treated you, we had a similar goal for a while, but we both know it's over."

Kidder retched at what she said, "Don't tell me I'm not a ghoul."

"No, you are just not a very good one."

Flinching at Rize's words, something told him he could finally release his kagune.

"I have to consume the memories of being human, I can't bring them back. Once that's done, maybe I'll be able to do it."

Rize spun around to face Kaddo who was bringing something out of his mouth. The sound of his regurgitation was enough to make her sick. "That can't be his kagune, it's not supposed to come out of there".

What came out was a translucent tendril, not red like blood but clear like water. "I'm not a failure, I won't be one, Kanou do you hear me!"

Kaddo was finally able force all of it out, something he wasn't able to do before. Taking a serious ghoul like Rize down would be the only way to see how far his limits would go.

~ Touka ~

Leaving by tunnel was the quickest exit for the rest of them. It was where Nico led the half ghouls and humans away.

Touka hoped that things would go right for once, but it didn't. The few hours of peace were disturbed by urgency.

Nico came running towards them.

"We should have had them depart in separate groups, I was afraid something like this would happen."

Uta and Itori listened to him.

There was only whispering but Touka was able to make most of it from her excellent hearing.

"It only took one half ghoul to send the rest into chaos, the one's that stayed have started feasting on the humans we rescued although a few half ghouls have also fled."

Uta had a different approach, "The only way to calm them is for them to take their fill. We can't going after them now or we'd be their next meal."

Something hit Touka in the head, causing her to yell at them, "Hide is still out there!"

All three turned to look at her, not knowing what to say.

Nico was the only who offered to help at first, "I'll look for Hide if you will. Do you have some form of identification that he carried with him? His scent will improve our chances of finding him."

Touka pulled out Hide's phone for Nico to take.

"I would have taken his shirt but it can't be helped."

Touka would have hit Kaneki for saying that.

Before they left, Uta called, "Wait, me and Itori will come too. This might be the last time we work together."

Touka hadn't seen them act this way before. It was unlike The Clowns to finally do something for others without benefitting themselves.

She still wanted to be the first person to find him. It's better if Hide stayed away from these sorts of people.

Walking through the tunnels, she moved toward the scent. Feeling it grow stronger with each step she took.

She stopped when she saw a figure buried in the shadows threatening her.

"Stay away, I'm not afraid to use this."

Touka only stepped closer. "You can come out Hide, it's me, Touka."

Hide crawled out still holding his weapon, a ball – point knife, although it could have also been disguised as a quinque. Someone must have given him this, but why make it into a pen, unless it had a different purpose in mind.

Touka gently pried the pen from his outstretched hands. Pressing her thumb on the edge of the blade, allowing her blood to flow freely from her wound. The cut was able to heal itself quickly, bringing focus to other matters.

She tried running her fingers down his hair to calm him, it couldn't compare to Kaneki's which was softer. "It's alright Hide, I'm with you now, things will get better once we get out of here".

Hide was shivering, both from the fear and the cold. "I'm sorry for trying to hurt you Touka, I couldn't tell it was you. Can you tell me where Kaneki is? He said he would come find me. A man told me what happened to him but wouldn't let me speak to him. He said it was for my safety."

She didn't know how much Hide had seen, holding his lips together she made him promise. "I'll have to explain later, can you stay quiet for me? We're leaving everyone else behind."

Hide nodded, holding her arm with his life.

Touka was done. The only thing she wanted was to be in Anteiku again, brewing a batch of coffee and greeting each customer with her smile.

Someone stepped behind him. "I was the second person to find him, so please, allow me to stand next to your place."

Touka saw Suski, "You have a better sense of smell than most, why are you here?"

"I felt it wasn't fair for you to be separated from Kaneki so I parted likewise with Kidder. I know you don't trust The Clowns any more then me, but maybe things will change once I return you to your home."

The Clowns gained our trust by helping Kaneki and I as well, that didn't mean they were with us. Touka left the rest unsaid, "You're not with them?"

"No, thankfully not, if I had joined them I would have accepted their ideologies. In fact what I say next may even surprise you, I want to destroy their organization."

Even Touka didn't want this, "You'll have them killed?"

Suski balanced himself on one foot and almost fell over, "Don't take me for a murderer, nothing you said could be put in my words. I wanted the organization to disappear not the people".

Suski regained his composure.

"I don't believe people are necessarily wrong, it's their beliefs. If we isolated the clowns, they wouldn't have done the things that they would have done as a group".

Touka was focused on more important issues right now, tossing Hide's pen to him he caught it deftly between his fingers. "Do you know what this is?"

"This right here, is Kaddo's finest work. You'll have to stay close to the side of business if you want to make anything like this. Perfect balance, speed, and edge all the qualities that make a superior quinque."

Suski threw the blade, making it spin it in the air until it was lodged in a gas pipe. "Great, now I'll have to retrieve it or Kaddo will kill me."

Touka missed his intentions, "Hide doesn't need your, inventions. He has us to keep him safe."

"His life is in danger not yours, you're not responsible for him, no more than

Kaneki. He has to learn how to defend himself soon or face the consequences."

Touka yelled out, "Hide isn't important, why would anyone be after him?"

Kaneki was the only person, whose life was in constant danger. It was up to her to keep him out of the ghoul world and slowly adapt to a human again, well not her, them.

"He's been caught in too many events, or more correctly, with too many ghouls. A human that gets involved with them, is no longer safe."

Touka and Suski heard footsteps approaching, they weren't familiar to them. Kanou's half ghouls had found them, or would have found Hide if they hadn't got to him first.

They looked lifeless, eyes staring blankly.

The situation wasn't going to improve soon. Suski would win her trust over with this, "Look after Hide. I'll be between the two of you."

Touka took off running with him.

Suski could only count that most couldn't use there kagune yet, balancing himself on one knee to bring the kagune out of his mouth he repeated a prayer, "Come out, I need you."

~ Kaneki ~

Kaneki went to work on a provided desk, occupying his time on sketching a portrait on a piece of paper that took on Touka's appearance.

Tapping the pencil against his knuckles, he had to wonder, "Was this what she looked like? If it's not good enough, it'll never be her. That's why he had to make her look even better. When the results was polished, she looked a bit older no less beautiful then she would have been."

He heard Eto's voice call him,"Kanou says he ready to see you."

Kaneki quickly stashed the drawing away.

"Just give me a second to organize," he needed a mirror and a comb.

There was also something he needed to show to Kanou under Kaddo's instructions, their "parting gift". Opening the present revealed: a ballpoint knife, it wasn't anything regular, it was a quinque and used to assassinate. Kaneki saw the advantages, unlike a standard quinque it wouldn't be a burden to carry and could easily wound and kill if it caught a ghoul off guard.

Kaddo might have wanted me to use this to kill Kanou, but how could he, even on a person like him.

No, he wouldn't believe that, it must have been for something else.

"Why couldn't you go on?" Rize's sweet voice said to him. He couldn't tell if it was his thoughts or hers, he couldn't see her anymore but could still hear her.

He was left to argue with himself.

"You're not supposed to be in my mind anymore, I erased you."

"I came back because you wanted me to, that hair of yours is proof."

"His death won't be someone's murder, it'll have to come to something else."

"Letting someone this dangerous live will be a mistake. He'll have your loved one's taken. Do it and say it was because of me."

"I'll stop him without committing murder."

"You've stopped people from murdering before or have you've forgotten the battle with Yamori?"

"I didn't kill him! Someone else did, I won't take responsibility!"

Kaneki wasn't going to listen to the demons in his head anymore. Urging Eto to move faster to Kanou's room.

When he found him, he wasn't in his proper place. Lying on bed sick wasn't how Kaneki wanted to confront the person that he blamed for his struggles.

"My arm is beyond repair, I will need someone to remove it when the time comes. It must be you Kaneki."

Kaneki didn't know what to make from this and why he was demonstrating how weak he had become.

"None of the half ghouls that I released in the streets have returned to me. I won't believe they died but it seems I'll have to."

"Why did you send for me?"

"I need you to help my children become who they are, they're your brothers and sisters."


	17. Chapter 17

Authors Note: Expect another plot twist.

This took a long time because I once again hit writer's block.

If this chapter didn't make you emotional, I suck.

~ Rize ~

Kaddo was bleeding from his arms, stomach, and mouth. Nearing death, he would answer Rize's final questions before his life would leave him.

Rize had suffered injuries as well but unlike Kaddo, would be able to recover.

"That kagune, what is it and why haven't I seen it?"

Kaddo could barely form the words in his mouth.

"I'll die, with my secrets, I won't have anyone else, for being a traitor."

Kaneki would know everything afterwards that he was responsible for trying to stop Rize, something he never wanted me to do. He had betrayed him twice. There was no other way; he had to choose between him and his company.

"I'm still willing to spare your life for information. Information The Clowns don't know."

Kaddo's eyes lit up but dimmed when he looked at her.

"You sent your own ghouls into murdering hundreds of other ghouls, ghouls no different than me. You wouldn't save the effort."

Everything he said was true.

"Then I'll take action before I speak words."

Rize extended her arms the same way she did to save Kaneki from his own injuries.

When Kaddo stood there motionless, Rize began to feel frustrated by his lack of understanding.

"Do it before you die!"

She heard Kaddo sobbing.

"I'm an influential, I follow the company's policy like a good worker should. We're required to turn down deals that aren't fair. What good, will your precious information do you, once Shuu and his family gets here".

Rize never expected Kaddo to say this, having someone like him accept the possibility of death was beyond her. "His first battle has made him braver, he's found something more valuable than his life, his secret." Rize realized.

"I'll even the trade, tell me what you know about your kagune and help Kaneki as well. Put him ahead of your company, make him be the person he wants to be."

Kaddo was confused, "Help him?"

"You're first priority was to keep your identity, it came with your life but now you value something more, knowledge of a secret kagune. Now you want both, so make it possible by helping others achieve the same dream. If Kaneki wants to return to the human world, you'll be the only one who can show him how."

Kaddo finally looked up, he wasn't betraying anyone by doing this.

"I can accept that."

Erupting into a coughing fit, he brought more blood out his mouth.

Rize offered her arm again, only for Kaddo to refuse her help.

"A gentlemen always keeps his end of the bargain first".

"If you die, neither of us will see through this."

Kaddo still followed his words.

"Not all ghouls have kagune's, others like me can only use it in limitation. We associate red kagune's with pain and fear the way ghouls learn to control it. My kagune is different, I bend it using revulsion and self - disgust."

Rize saw promise in this.

"What was the limitation?"

"It takes time to force the kagune out the mouth, leaving me vulnerable to attack. Once released I'm left with little to no weaknesses however."

"Why haven't I heard of this?"

"The only ghouls that can produce this kind of kagune are those that hate the meat they get from humans. It's why our kagune exists in our back, to leave room for the mouth."

Rize wondered what it would be like to hate eating.

"Do you know anybody else with your kagune?"

"I've taught one other person, he's not near here but I know him as Suski".

It was the last thing Kaddo said before he fell down, seemingly dead.

"Damn it, this is your fault."

Kaddo wasn't responding to her voice.

Rize was left to wait.

Banging was heard on the other side of the door, asking the person to surrender.

An impatient Tsukiyama had torn it down, causing the rest of his family to storm inside.

Kanae her servant wasn't far behind him.

Shuu almost stepped on Kaddo coming in and quickly had his servants drag him away from here".

Kanae's voice was heard, "So you're the Binge Eater, tell me why you never wore a mask?"

"I'm not ashamed to be a ghoul, unlike the rest of you."

The answer was met with groans and some pointed language, leaving her a few seconds to examine the situation.

They won't be able to take me. None of the ghouls here except Shuu were dangerous, the rest was muscle disguised as meat.

Shuu addressed her without a proper greeting. "You've taken Kaneki away from me, now you'll give him back!"

So this was why they were after her.

Rize was rational, "Calm yourself, I have no clues where he went either. He disappeared after we last spoke."

This didn't make him any happier, "So you've killed him!"

"No, but I'll be cleared of wrongdoing if someone else did, now get your hands off of me!"

Shuu was left to writhe on the ground and scream until foam covered his mouth.

Kanae rushed to his side, "Calm down Master Shuu! I promise you, we'll find Kaneki."

Taking control, she gave the order, "What are waiting for? Rize did this to Master Shuu, now do the same to her!"

The influentials responded by cornering Rize in a circle. Releasing her kagune once more, she tore down anyone that got close to her.

The battle persisted, leaving only the reluctant standing.

Kanae now afraid guarded Shuu with her arms.

It was Rize's chance to escape.

She briefly heard a "stop her," most likely by Kanae before pain shot through her leg. Staring down, a quinque knife had planted in her leg by a wounded influential, bringing her to the ground.

~ Kaneki ~

The thought hadn't occurred to Kaneki until he finally got the chance to lie in a bed by himself, that Kanou was no longer performing experiments. It had to someone else or nobody at all.

Unless, Kaneki felt his heart drop, the Clowns were the one's doing them. They were in the General Kanou Hospital before he and Eto arrived. Of course the influentials couldn't be ruled out either who were there too and knew far too much about them to not be a second suspect.

If this went on, the release of half – ghouls will only continue. Everyone would wrongfully blame Kanou for this including Rize, as long as he was alive.

Being surrounded by other confused half ghouls didn't comfort him like Eto said it would. Welled with pity, he wondered if their families would even recognize them as their own anymore.

Sometimes he wondered why he wasn't directing more of his anger at Kanou. He wasn't on his side, but also didn't see seem him as an entirely bad person now that he saw more than a person that carried out unethical experiments. He saved people, including Kaneki and always had time for anyone that wanted to see him.

This wouldn't have been much if Kanou were still able to be caring in spite of his constant suffering, He could no longer move his arm, confining him to a resting position for days and nights.

It could just be a ruse, but the lingering thought didn't stick to him.

It was up to Eto to bring the "day's hunt" every week which consisted of human appendages, leaving the head out for an unknown reason.

"Eto didn't want the other half ghouls to see them as people," Kaneki thought.

The question was where she was getting them from, prompting Kaneki to ask her."

"My own hunting grounds," was her answer, far from specific.

"Is it alright, if I feed them next time?"

"Go on, but if you can't keep up with the demand, let them know it was you."

Now there's this worry to deal with.

Suicide victims would be enough food for a few, but not enough for the mass. He resolved to find people that were already dead. He was told to respect them, but decided that the living deserved it more.

~ Uta ~

Rescuing the half ghouls made them the one in need in rescue.

Uta's voice was heard, "Touka, Suski, and Hide have fled without us, a move that cost us when we didn't do the same. Force isn't going to work this time, we someone to stall and the rest to run."

The silence was uneasy, so Nico broke it with a sigh.

"A good person does good things, but now that I recall the things I've done in my life, it was always for myself. Let me do this and I'll be able to die a good person, even if I didn't live like one."

Uta didn't want to believe him, "You wouldn't have admitted, if it didn't come to this. Maybe, I was wrong for believing in sacrifice."

"Unless Ayato plays my role, we won't have a third option."

Itori was emotional, "Why can't option 3 happen?"

"He still has a sister to look after. Furthermore, I couldn't bear to soil the image I had, dining with them. It's a fond memory that brings a smile to my heart."

Itori wasn't going to let this go, "Working together, Nico always did the most, let someone else shoulder the burden this time."

Nico laughed, "I know my efforts had always been appreciated, but the walls are closing in on us. If the rest of you don't go, we'll all be crushed into one."

Waling the opposite way, Itori grabbed his arm.

"I should be sorry! Sorry you weren't treated as a better person in front of us!"

Nico looked on, "I won't die, I'll find my way back."


	18. Chapter 18

Authors Note: I apologize if the plot isn't making sense. I only know what I'll write for the ending. I'm making this stuff up as I go.

I finally used a swear word.

I dedicated an entire chapter to Rize.

This is the shortest chapter, but possibly the one I consider the best written. Since they are absolutely no plot discontinuities or holes.

~ Tsukiyama ~

Shuu spoke with a hint of uncertainty, "I assume Rize is hungry."

Kanae knew what he meant, "Yes, she should be, I made sure your servants avoided her. Care was taken to deny any request for food."

Shuu was pleased, "How is she responding, to the changes?"

"Negatively I'm afraid, with threats and screams."

"Will anyone hear her?"

"She's lost her contacts, no one should be able to reach her."

"Then she'll enjoy some company. You've fulfilled your duty, now leave the rest to me."

Something was troubling Kanae.

"There's something on my mind that I must tell you."

Shuu nodded.

"I had the arrangements done, I know the risks in leaving you 2 alone. You know what Rize is capable of doing. Please, allow me to accompany.

"Our conversation must be private. The risks you mentioned won't be there with our preparations".

Kanae didn't argue, "I trust your abilities Master Shuu."

"It's time for dinner."

~ Rize ~

"I shouldn't have underestimated Shuu's bunch, it's my fault for not being careful."

Those were the words Rize told herself, arms and legs secured to a chair.

At least there was dinner to look forward to. She couldn't even remember what her last meal tasted like, now that she was detained in a solid bedroom with every provision except food since she was brought here.

Watching Shuu return only made her uneasy.

Resting his hands on her shoulders, she writhed against his touch.

"Let me out of this chair, I swear I'll kill you for this!"

"I understand your concern, but I also have mine."

"You won't find Kaneki by starving me, just let me go."

Rize's voice was strained.

It was entirely possible for her to free herself if she had been able to eat in the past 5 days. All her strength depended on it.

This isn't Shuu, something's happened that made everyone in Ghoul Restaurant sadistic.

"Why don't you take a look at our menu, I'm sure you'll find something, appetizing"

Shuu leaned close to look at her.

"You're not Shuu, Shuu wouldn't do this!"

He gave Rize his I.D card.

"Are you sure you weren't mistaken."

Rize thought to herself, "I'll have to play his game, there's no use in trying to reason with him. I need to figure out my own moves, a way to make him or someone relent."

When their waiter arrived, she almost screamed for help. She held back and made a note that he wasn't going to help her when he still belonged to Shuu. So she did what any diner would do, order.

"I'll order the child's heart." She said with a smile, pretending that nothing was wrong.

Shuu came next, "For me, the elderly calf."

"Horrible tastes as usual." Rize thought to herself.

When their meal arrived, Shuu made an effort to hold back on eating too quickly.

"I think I'll enjoy my meal, slowly."

Taking a knife and fork he slowly cut the meat in front of Rize before it went in his mouth. Making her panic and lose herself completely, "I need to eat, I need to eat, I need to…."

"I need hands to eat."

Rize told Shuu calmly, doing her best to tug against her restraints.

"They're right here, I'm feeling them right now."

"Don't pull this crap on me!"

Shuu gagged, "Please, we're eating!"

"You're eating! I'm sitting here watching! What you're doing is torture!"

"It's impolite to talk with a mouthful, let's continue the conversation after everything's digested."

Silence followed the sound of chewing.

Rize lowered her head, "I can't go through this, what do you want to know?"

Shuu stood up.

"What did you do to Kaneki?"

"I didn't do anything to him!"

"He left, he's gone, he's not here and he might be dead because you spoke to him!"

She finally looked up.

"Kaneki made his own choices, I didn't push him into doing anything. "

Instead of reacting violently, he seated himself and began eating without her.

She told herself to stay calm to deny him satisfaction and imagine what she would do to him once she was free.

Her own dish was now drenched in her own saliva, prompting Shuu to wipe her lips.

"Has someone forgotten their table manners?"

"Just go to hell!"

Watching Shuu eat left her shaking, so she looked away. Shuu, noticing her discomfort, pushed her farther from sanity by pressing her meal closer.

The meat dish was only a foot away, but too far for her to eat. Being trapped in a chair forced her to take in the intoxicating smell and vision in front of her.

"Damn you! Damn you! Damn you!"

Rize wasn't going to cry, but she wanted to.

If this was hell, she must have done something horribly wrong to deserve this.

Was it eating humans needlessly?

No, everyone wants to be happy, why shouldn't she. Binge eating was the only pleasure she had as a ghoul.

Shuu was almost finished with his calf, while Rize still hadn't touched her heart.

"I'm too full to take another bite, how about you?"

Rize couldn't hold herself from screaming, "Please! Just feed me already! I promise I won't binge eat, not even when I'm not hungry! I know the people I've eaten, they were once my friends, now I hear their voices again!"

Shuu sighed, "I had a friend too, but I wouldn't force food down his throat if he didn't want to eat. You held off eating for this longer maybe you could wait a little longer."

Implying that he wasn't going to make her eat if she didn't want to, disregarding that she physically couldn't.

"You're not Shuu, I don't know who or what you are. I don't care what proof you have over me."

"You know, I've changed my mind. There is something I would like to bite into, your belly.

Shuu jumped forward, a quinque knife in his hands.

"Are you in here Kaneki, maybe I'll have to cut you out? You were the first person to try and eat him, that also makes you the last!"

Their waiter returned to see the scene.

"I apologize for disturbing your activity, there is something urgent that came up. We found a clue that may lead us to Kaneki.

Shuu stopped to turn around, "Show me!"

The servant led Shuu away, leaving Rize alone until he returned to speak to her.

"I can't free you but I can still feed you."

With a few clean cuts, the heart was evenly distributed into bite-sized portions. Holding the dish next to her, she was finally able to eat, holding each morsel above her mouth to coat herself with the flavor. She couldn't decide if the taste was better or the cure for her hunger."

She didn't notice the tears in her eyes until she finished. Nothing had felt this good before.

"May I have your name?"

"It's Suski, and I'm here to help you."


End file.
